Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
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Top comments
homesuckfucker 28
I'm sorry your girlfriend would be so disrespectful. Things that happen in an intimate situation should remain intimate. Did you let her know it makes you uncomfortable? Communication is important in a relationship, after all. Perhaps she could convince your friends to stop. If not, they'll forget about it once it stops being entertaining. Pretend it doesn't bother you! Play along with it! That's how you shake off elementary school bullies, and they seem to be at about that level of maturity.
LaColombianita 26
Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..
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Comments (97)
ald92 6
What would be worse if one of those friends used fml and pointed you out in the comments. You did share your story with the net though. It sucks i have a story i told friends, now they are complete dicks about trying to bring it up every chance they get
wvcheesehead 13
Often when a rifle is fired, there will be a loud report that follows, embrace the science.
_kyleG_ 34
Sounds like a sticky situation
milehigh52 22
I know how to fix it give her an ****** next time you have sex so hard that she screams really loud or does something embarrassing. Then you have the upper hand and can just smirk at her anytime her friends make jokes.
cryssycakesx3 23
"I made my girlfriend scream really loud"
Llama_Face89 34
Wait...since when is that a bad thing..?
tray623 7
It's called being sarcastic. I thought crssycakes comment was pretty funny.
joshi42 16
It could be worth. Imagine, if you would be passive gay, where would this habit lead you?
captainsmegma 12
Next time have her hold a lighter near your ass. Then she can enjoy the flash with the thunder.
foxwasalamb 24
next time?
Camillerenee420 4
lmfao.
sweetnsourrr 11
I hate when people, those who are in a relationship, discuss their sex lives amongst their friendship. I had two friends who did that and it was weird, he told us all that he tossed his girlfriend's (now ex) salad, TMI. I just find it disrespectful, I wouldn't sleep with someone who kisses and tell. idk that's just me...
Llama_Face89 34
I had a buddy who told me his girlfriend tossed his salad...most awkward conversation I've participated in to date..
buckdharma 38
Did this happen at the Cumfart Inn?
Lars93 18
just say, "say that one more time, one f*cking time, and I'll make you fart cum"
AL3XFML 7
Well that's a bit extreme
ZY1431 24
that escalated quickly