Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
"Yeah, his father does that too!"
Lopee069 4
Then stop farting
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Comments (159)
PandaMan26 11
haha that sucks!
afdude87 6
seems like whoever is first says the same damn thing.. :/
PeteyPablo12308 20
Lmfao! Yes!!! ^^^
Garyy_fml 11
^ My thoughts exactly
Garyy_fml 11
^ My thoughts exactly
RaineLee 5
No that's disgusting. Don't fart during sex, it's such a turn off.
BagleHead 6
...I think it's pretty hot
therealjrkill 0
thats going to be an extremly uncomfterable dinner :b
Selena_is_back 7
Queefy face.
breakofdawn1 0
28 you're probably like some 40 year old dude
Bakayarou_fml 0
It doesn't suck. It blows.
staceysgenesis16 0
eww thats a turn off !! even if the guy was super hot , thars bloody gross !!
qwacktastick 8
obviously...
RaineLee 5
96 - Lol, say whatever you want :)
Bubbelz 25
So is a queef.
GigaPudding_fml 24
"Yeah, his father does that too!"
maskedman 9
that's funny but I think it would have been more disturbing if his mother said,"I can't believe he still farts during sex. That used to annoy me so much!"
Sniper3000 0
#20 that would be hilarious
Garyy_fml 11
That would of meant that she raped him and that's not really funny. What's funny is how long that comment must've took you.
DRIEAM 0
Gary, quit being a butthurt aspie. **** you and your lack of sense of humor.
maskedman 9
Sheesh, Gary. Rape? That's a dark world you live in buddy. However, I do agree that it's hilarious that it took me a whole week to come up with that joke. Seven days.
Jester69 0
Can't rape the willing Gary
pman590 8
he's being sarcastic.. never seen the ring?
randombitches1 0
actually that would be incest and if that really did happen i don't think he would talk with his mother at all or introduce his girlfriend to her...it would be inappropriate......#20 made a harmless joke...just because your sense of humor is different from his doesn't mean it isn't funny and you should confront him for it...and p.s in future tense u should try to distinguish incest and rape so you don't come of as an illiterate fool. ok? =)
randombitches1 0
#31 actually that would be incest and if that really did happen i don't think he would talk with his mother at all or introduce his girlfriend to her...it would be inappropriate......#20 made a harmless joke...just because your sense of humor is different from his doesn't mean it isn't funny and you should confront him for it...and p.s in future tense u should try to distinguish incest and rape so you don't come of as an illiterate fool. ok? =)
iluvcupkakes 0
win
kapippenger 0
HAHAHA. ^_^ I like this person ^
wasdadeal 0
holy shit this comment is awesome :D
Lopee069 4
Then stop farting
Garyy_fml 11
Yeah, I know! You can easily hold them in. That's disgusting OP.
chickenfriedCG 0
or at least use some Gas-X before hand.
fish1197_fml 0
niiiiiice
EvilPotato 15
that's hot.
OMG_N3RD 0
How is that hot?
yohooooooo 5
it just is bro.
kdog773 0
lol
j_cat187 20
steamy
EvilPotato 15
77 the gas coming from his ass is hot, therefore overall it's "hot" get it?
whitewoods 3
Have her make you a sandwich after sex, not before so you won't have gas.
_streets_ 19
I bet that's a big turn on.
AbsOluteLAD 0
are you ******* sick or what? you like that kind if shit do you?
IceCweaaam 0
oh god. some people REALLY need a sarcasm detector!
jonathanpwns 0
Abs, follow you're picture. You mad bro?
Primo_Loco 0
abs..... I'm pretty sure they were joking. you know... SARCASM... yea... I'll let you figure that one out on your own.
AbsOluteLAD 0
fail.
Anumayis 34
your*
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Farting is disgusting, why would you let them go during sex? SEX!! That's like the worst possible time >_<
EvilPotato 15
I know right? Øh and also great band. ^^
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
XD I get so many comments on my name lmao Thank you :P
JenL_fml 7
Farting is a natural part of life, just like a woman's period. It's disgusting but we can't avoid it. Maybe he just gets really gassy during sex and can't help it. Better out than in, anyway.
cldean24 4
You are that upset over a little fart? Calm the **** down, everybody farts it isn't that disgusting. If he were sharting, then your comment would be justifiable.
Avenged7Gabe 0
what I would like to know is how his mom knows how he farts during sex
shoopd 19
What I'd like to know is how you've made it this far in life without being able to read.
tesuan 0
I think it'd be worse during the prayer at a funeral
DavLynn 4
39... you can avoid farting actually..
Pretty_In_Purple 0
not forever. only momentarily. but they eventually need to come out.
ximenita0731 0
haha agreed
CarleeBugg123 5
Okay now that's just gross!
jennifer93 0
Well stop farting during sex!