Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, I realised that I'm kinda living the life of a Disney princess, because I'm lonely and all my friends are animals. Yes, I also talk to them. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML
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Top comments
zee209 0
Who cares? Do you really HAVE to be out doing something on a Friday night? Stop whining and grow up.
HumansSuck 0
It's okay, my cousin's the same way. You'll find someone.
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Comments (112)
AnimeGirl0071 1
I'm 11 and I literally go out every Friday night until 11:00 :)
StinkySiddneyIsF 2
Nothing wrong with that!! Dogs probably way more amusing anyhow! Quality time, all I'm saying. I used to stay home and practice German on my cat. Too embarrassed to practice on a real German, although I think he gets confused now ;) we do have a better understanding about not clawing my couch.
Attica 20
Break ups suck, and I am sympathetic to that, but as for being on your own on a Friday night...so what? Grow up. It's very teenage to think you just HAVE to go out every Friday night, or you're a loser. Being single doesn't make you a loser, either. It seems like you feel like you're not good enough on your own; don't define yourself by a partner. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You need to learn to be happy on your own before you can truly be happy with anyone else.
xmaximusx 12
Nothing wrong with that!!
ThatWeirdGurl 20
Sounds like a normal day for me... Jesus I need friends
jakethejeep 7
You sound like Liz Lemon