Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, I realised that I'm kinda living the life of a Disney princess, because I'm lonely and all my friends are animals. Yes, I also talk to them. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML
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Top comments
zee209 0
Who cares? Do you really HAVE to be out doing something on a Friday night? Stop whining and grow up.
HumansSuck 0
It's okay, my cousin's the same way. You'll find someone.
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Comments (112)
sarinninja 0
I know how you feel. but this is a insanely cute fml. =]
keres 0
Sounds like Jon from the Garfield comics, Garfield-minus-Garfield style. :D
Voddy 0
Beats the shit out of being in a bad relationship. Don't beat yourself up so bad--it'll get better with time, as long as you let it.
mcguyver98 0
sad, but funny!
kittenmeow 0
when I'm stoned i can communicate with my dogs :o) really i can!
marissajean42 0
this would be a million times funnier if it was a cat. Then you'd be just like Jon from "Garfield."
wowshammy2564 0
friday night? alone? .. looks like you need to start playing some world of warcraft :)
Symphony_fml 0
That's a thumbs up reply if i ever heard one. xD
wainersgirl73 0
i would say get a life but dont feel bad if that book intrested you and you thought it was cool an tryin ot out. everyone has diffrent hobbies an intrest an well i guess one od yours is talkin to your dog lol
VolleyballSMASH 1
Hey now, you just had a break up. Unless you lied to FML trying to talk to your dog seems... like you are on the wrong site. MLIA is where you should be
jussjess 0
All the single people on here should get together. :)