Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
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Top comments
Casualt1234 0
"swinging penis"? anyone else find this phrase odd? -_- also, at least you're getting some pussy (:,'
kirbyfan23 0
Well, at least you got some action!
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Comments (123)
magicfish 0
Ouch.
Deathlyranch 0
Must of looked meaty.
pippysthename00 0
YDI for taking showers regularly with your cat.
DGross 8
what a hard break...
aubsx3 0
That tiny ehh?
kirbyfan23 0
Well, at least you got some action!
cross3 3
cant blame the pussy for wanting some dick lol ;p
destructinator1 0
Haha
FweakofCydonia 40
BDSM type action...LOL
caancoha 0
She just wanted a smoky link, don't be so sensitive. Obviously it looked tasty.
Lisasimpsonfan 0
Two words: Nurse Jackie
caancoha 0
She just wanted a smoky link, don't be so sensitive. Obviously it looked tasty.
Casualt1234 0
"swinging penis"? anyone else find this phrase odd? -_- also, at least you're getting some pussy (:,'
redoleander 0
What's wrong with that phrase?
Casualt1234 0
i don't really like picturing swinging penises. especially since i saw that one video on the internets 0-o
redoleander 0
haha, oh I see
TomFantastic 0
Any man who has never attempted meatspins in the bathroom mirror probably doesn't have a big enough penis to pull it off. For those who do, it's absolutely hilarious and you should do it daily
JOELY_fml 0
SOMEBODY's penis doesn't swing
Casualt1234 0
idk why you guys replied to my post, #34 and #39 because your posts really didn't have anything to do with what i said but w/e. why would a penis swing if the guy isn't doing meatspins anyway?
MadeOfAwesome 1
Yeah, that phrase kinda disturbs me. Not. A. Good. Visual.
volcomxbabiix3 0
lmfao that made my day! YDI for not shutting ur door and leting ur penis attracted cat in. btw i hope the cat is a girl.... xD
BeeSkwaird 0
*penis-attracted
vendris 5
@ #78, You know right, that not everyone is still living with their parents? Perhaps the OP lives on his own?
LabelMeNot 0
ewww reminds me of the part on bruno
volcomxbabiix3 0
who gives a shit. its just a dash.
bluesclues72 0
93: I put my towel on after I get of the shower. Cats are fast and can things very quickly. I don't know what kind of idiot puts there towel on in the shower. and who showers with the door open? OP: relax, your cat was tring to give you a BJ pussy style
Ohnothingreally 0
........ O_O;;
playfuldesk 0
What a *****!
guitarman78965 0
Well that's why cats suck
cem5202 0
im pretty sure this is a repost