Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
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Top comments
CorDa616 22
Heh, next time he suggests you get 'in bed' together just climb in and sleep, ignoring him.
redwrath 16
We see he has priorities in order
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Comments (110)
perdix 31
It seems like he took you too literally. With guys like that, you can't be suggestive -- you have to ask for what you want directly. He wouldn't be an engineer by any chance, would he?
MiiMiix 6
Maybe next time be more direct?,that sucks sorry OP.FYL
expertsmilee 26
YDI, should have suggested sex.
FlyingPie 17
Well, he did take a shower with you. ;)
TyLloyd 7
He did what you told him to do at least
skitzymew 19
I believe you, actually. Sarcasm is practically my first language, and that's exactly how I read it. I don't know how anyone COULDN'T tell that that was sarcasm.
peacheso 31
Aren't we all tired of the "I was being sarcastic" excuse?!
Martinez0285 28
I don't think your specific with your intentions
AculyAmber 12
Oh come on people! Like #44 said, I can't see how that ISN'T sarcasm! I thought it was pretty funny, personally!
UnoriGal 17
Nope, because it's a legitimate reason for downvoted comments. Doesn't it occur to people that a comment is shitty not because it was stupid and then excused through sarcasm, but because it was failed sarcasm in the first place? I'm not talking about ALL comments, because there are some honestly dumb ones, but some others are obvious attempts at sarcasm that didn't work out; the commenter gets their comment and intelligence bashed because everyone misinterprets them. They try to explain themselves and suddenly, they're using the "sarcasm excuse." Nothing will please you guys, will it? Gez As for this comment, just like skitzy, I could read the sass off that sentence like I was saying it jokingly to a friend, it was a nice first comment c: EDIT: WOW this did not look so long typed up on an itouch, holy crap. Sorry for the fml essay, but had to get it out :P