HK
Haywards Heath, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
whatchagonnado
Victoria, Canada
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
EmbarrassedGirlfriend101
United States
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Cleanfreak?
?lborg, Denmark
Funky
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Anonymous
Stubborn
Today, my boyfriend accused me of making an FML about him. I let him know that if I were going to make an FML, it would be about how he doesn’t flush the toilet after he uses it. He responded by not flushing the toilet again this morning. FML
wtf
Bad romance
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
kj1
Draper, United States
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
mary
Boundaries please!
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
GasAttack
Canada
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Anonymous
Big Baby
Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML
Top comments
kickuwithmyfist 1
It gets lonely in there...
curtisv123 0
Should have made it clear you had other shit to do.
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Comments (133)
kickuwithmyfist 1
It gets lonely in there...
biggestfan23 11
I wish I had one of those toilets like Big had in Rob & Big. Ahhh the comforts
unoffensivename 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show him some love OP, if you can't keep your boyfriend company while he's dropping a deuce who can you keep company? Btw that's a shitty situation.
JocelynKaulitz 28
You never know, he could have been planning to kill you with his stink bomb :O
MsSoulReaper 27
That's why you take your phone with you. Just don't drop it in the toilet >.<
JoeRogansBEARD 15
She should have gave him a blumpkin
nirvi 3
May be he is scared of toilet monsters..
hellaflushfa5 6
15 mins of ********, 45 mins of angry birds
Roevera 14
I'd prefer the lonely feeling.. then again my boyfriend comes into the bathroom all the time unannounced.. don't tell me to lock the door.. he picks the lock.
RavenRiley007 4
Seems like his perception of quality time is shitty.
zandalee 20
You poor bloody woman! Are there no boundaries anymore? for the love of God!!
VoteForTaco 8
28- No, that's disgusting!
carnev0re7 1
that's why I bring my phone
Mandybruin 15
Or wipe with it
billwaslikewow 4
You know tokio hotel *.* Totally irrelevant but omg how awesome!
cjack188 13
I check FML when I'm on the John, then I realize I finished excreting half an hour ago......
Cutieday101 0
I would of said, okay next time its YOURturn 2 suffer thru smelling MY SHIT BiTchhhh !, then be like i love u babyy. Lls
curtisv123 0
Should have made it clear you had other shit to do.
kickuwithmyfist 1
I guess now she's on his...shit list=D
LookOnBrightSide 12
Personally, I'm trying not to make a shitty pun...but I can't resist. Anyway, OP, giving your boyfriend some privacy is a good thing, though he seems to want to bond with you more often. Bathrooms make you feel isolated from the world, and I guess he just wanted to spend his special time with you.
fuzz97 23
I see what you both did there
happle 21
Why does everyone else take so ******* long to shit?
CaptTeemo 10
Because they take their phones with them to take a dump. That's why it takes so long 84 because we're playing some game instead of actually ********
Javalounge 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I always take my dog into the bathroom so I wouldn't be alone. Man's best friend :)
starbucksguy 16
Do you watch your dog every time he takes a dump too?
xxmel 6
I hate it when my cat walks in on me when I'm in the bathroom. She looks up at me and we make eye contact, and she knows what she's doing. They know.
starbucksguy 16
Having a dump is meant to be a sacred, personal time...used to reflect on life and do the crossword
Javalounge 0
I agree, but I do it just in case I find someone hiding behind the shower curtains.
igive 29
i bought clear shower curtains. never have to check again :D
starbucksguy 16
Unless the person hiding is invisible...
XtraEzeee 8
"Toilet time is the last bastion of American freedom."
RussianFox 13
34- What can we say? It's a good time killer.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Cruelty to animals!
pokefan813 16
48 - Then there would be no reason for said person to hide... xD
donmega323 3
He just thought it would be a good bonding experience
nhewitt02 6
The best one-on-one time there is! No better way to get that sense of 'closeness'
igive 29
but the smell D':
1JDub 6
Why you selfish biaaaatch! YDI
Michellec9982 18
Aw he just wants to spend more time with you :)
curlygirlqte 0
Lmao! :)
Xythenol 6
She should get him a diaper--he can shit AND have company!
KrazieKleo 13
Tell him to take his phone or iPod next time. It's a great time passer :)
Il_Maestro 6
Hell, I'll bet you close to half the people reading this comment are in the bathroom.
mhopper 13
FaceTime! Then you can be there without the smell
tylersign 11
What did he think you were gonna do that would have made it that much better? Stand there and sing him a song? Hold his hand?
HiIAmKevin 8
She could wipe his ass...
TheBonzaiGirl 0
I would do it, and pretend he was giving birth. "Push Jacob, push! I can see it's head! Deep breaths now!"
whoaaahorsie 7
how could you be so heartless
Il_Maestro 6
Chill, Kanye, there are worse problems. Like when OP realizes he's out of toilet paper.
MRosellini 2
Give him a blumpkin. (Harold and Kumar: Guantanamo Bay)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You're wrong, bro. They said that on the white castle movie. The skeevy stoner roommates remember? Haha.
wtflawl 3
No definately guantonimo bay cause they were walking through the woods before they got to the inbreds house and then Harold threw the phone and the cop dude found it later
chrstygrl06 10
It actually was the white castle movie.
wtflawl 3
Look up moviequotes.com guantonimo bay... Lol
CallMeMcFeelii 14
The guy off of American pie who boiked stifflers mom and his roommate started the blumkin in the white castle movie. Maybe it carried over into their next movie.