Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
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Top comments
banman12321 6
Oh it's not?
chaoticxxxmess 3
She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.
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Comments (133)
TheDrummingResul 0
Ron Jeremy pills!
cornhulio 6
look at OP's name.
Sunshines_Rose 0
Your girlfriend thinks there's a goal with regard to sex? I think she watches a bit too much television, How old is she, 5? Because then you'd be considered a kiddie fiddler and she'd be paedo-bear's best friend. :|
Mokiikom_fml 8
You are the one who sounds like they are 5. OP sucks at sex. Op's girlfriend isn't having pleasure, as a direct result of him sucking at it. That's why people would view sex as a chore and want it to be over fast. Because they're sleeping with someone who's bad in bed! Not because they watch TV.
gatorkiss 0
Well duh.. Her show is going to be on in 5 minutes..at least she gave you some before it started.,let me guess she laid there and said "are you finished yet" ...
clemcool_fml 0
I appreciate that you recognize the possibility that you over-analyzed it. The only reason I jumped on you is the way you worded the original comment: that she "had" the described issues, not that it was a possibility that she did. And with that, good day :)
justanotherhuman 21
...sorry, I just saw a bunch of paragraphs and logic, annnnd feel compelled to add: articulation is sexy.
asterik99 3
Make her ****** and tease her insistently, want's she wants it bad enough. Problem solved.
Neonnight 0
Haha poor you
guitarhitman18 4
my girl used to be like that, but i set her straight.
missbadluk 0
Sounds to me like YOU'RE not doing something right. She's obviously not having very much fun while having sex with you. Maybe try some new techniques and try asking her what feels food to her. Just a suggestion! YDI-you dumb idiot.