Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
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Top comments
banman12321 6
Oh it's not?
chaoticxxxmess 3
She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.
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Comments (133)
love2laughyou 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well it depends on who you're giving oral to. With a guy if they arent tryin to hold back, it shouldn't take more than 3-5 mins (guys are easy). If you're goin down on a woman you better settle in for the long hall, and know what you're doing. My ladies and I are hard to please but WELL WELL WELL, worth the wait. Women appreciate an ****** so much more and will give back. If your a woman go girl, if your a woman with a girl find a female that isn't so lazy, if you have a man dump him a find a better partner. Live it up!
spicerack1528 3
Today, I read your entire comment FML
twisted54 1
She wants a race does she? Challenge accepted...:)
yummcookie 0
No worries about stamina eh? But sucks to be you OP
clemcool_fml 0
OR (and this is just a thought, based only on my own experience and assumptions about the original situation...hey, kind of like yours!) she has the gift to come quickly and easily and sees no purpose in being under a sweaty, groaning man for any longer than necessary. Or maybe she has wetness issues and it's painful after a while, whether she's enjoying it or not. But you're probably right; it HAS to be way more complicated and psychologically seeded than that.
live_2_eat 5
Maybe you need to try make it slightly more enjoyable for her, lol.
mzwhitaker85 0
that means maybe she finds the pleasure you give her is unbareable, but at least you don't need to worrie about it now she's no longer in your life, move on and think about yourself
spd2fst4u 5
The goal of sex is to have babies. We humans do it cause it's very enjoyable. There is a big difference.
Brooding99 15
Might just mean that she doesn't enjoy it with you... would explain that.
ohthestupidity 4
that's cause you suck op!