Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
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Top comments
banman12321 6
Oh it's not?
chaoticxxxmess 3
She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.
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Comments (133)
FMLephant 2
Why do men come quicker than women? Who cares.
raaawwwrrZ 8
19 so you are saying while shes still tossing the salad hes eating the pie?
trellz17 19
She's like that cause she hasn't had any GOOD!!! sex yet. Ohhhh yeah ;)
Hisfav1 6
YDI for ******* a 14 year old.
Mourningstar 4
Then you haven't made her cum yet. If you don't know how to go down, find the little man in the boat, spell out the ABC's on it and when she pushes back, keep doing what you jist did. Simple. But the last thing you want rattling around in your head is that you're a lame lay, you gotta get to fixing that......just saying
ShroomsOnAcid 17
If you know what you're doing the journey will be so amazing that instead of rushing to the finish line, you'll actually do what you can to avoid the final destination, just so it can last a little longer. ;)
Calyx_fml 22
Go down on her for an hour. That will change her tune.
RedPillSucks 33
An hour? She'll be like a raisin in the sun.
Jasper8713 2
Sex can be extremely painful for some people. For example, I have displaced hips, and arthritis in my spine and knees. Laying on my back with applied pressure makes sharp pain radiate up my spine, being on my knees makes sharp pains radiate through my legs. Also, having my legs in certain positions makes me exceptionally stiff due to my hips, and makes any movement quite painful. You may want to talk to her about WHY she dislikes sex.
inpuredeceit 14
Sounds like my boyfriend
marpay 11
Your comments are extremely accurate. Thanks for correcting the idiots that think sex = ****** and there is no other reason for it.
leadman1989 16
Well ACTUALLY in nature the goal of sex IS to finish as quickly as possible. Because it uses energy and leaves you vulnerable to predators. We've just gotten to a place where we don't have to worry about all that other stuff and can enjoy ourselves.
leadman1989 16
You're very LONG winded but you've still missed the point of my comment. In comparison to the MILLIONS of years we've been evolving 2000 IS "just" I never said that's why we have sex. I don't know how you got that from what I said. It doesn't matter if those species have sex or not their reproductive cycle is vying for efficiency. To decrease their vulnerability and energy spent in the process a species that lays and then fertilizes eggs still qualifies for this. Even plants and asexual species qualify for this.
leadman1989 16
Ahh yes, we've accomplished something rarely seen engaged over the interwebz and come to an amicable agreement. Certainly this is a complex field and can't be explored in any amount of detail on FML, but I see where you're coming from. Socially we've come so far in the past 2000yrs it's astonishing, but I don't think they're (social/biological motivators) as different as we might think. I like that you're opinionated there are a few of you that I love reading you "the girl with the gas mask and the guy in the white hoodie or jacket looking over his shoulder and a few others" almost always leave well though out views that I just hadn't realize. :)
NDiesal10 2
That's a first.