Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with a virgin who doesn’t even know how the clit works. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I've been blessed with a great girlfriend who initiates sex often, but then during the act just lays there looking uninterested while I do all the work. Looking at her bored expression makes me lose all the fun. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I realised that unless I masturbate about an hour before sex, sex lasts less than 20 seconds, but even after masturbating I’m still lucky to last a single minute. I don’t know how to stop disappointing her, and she’s my first serious girlfriend. I’m pathetic. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I discovered why my new boyfriend likes his sex slow and loving, like super slow. It’s because, despite being in shape, he’s so unfit that if he tries to go hard and fast he struggles to breathe and passes out on top of me. Guess my love life is limited to one mile an hour now. FML
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Top comments
rudico67 8
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but on the other hand, this what most women experience.
RichardPencil 32
So, she needs to upgrade her gearbox, if you know what I mean ;) Do you know what I mean? I don't, maybe you can explain it to me. Thanks.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
So, she needs to upgrade her gearbox, if you know what I mean ;) Do you know what I mean? I don't, maybe you can explain it to me. Thanks.
wrenavery90 12
Communication!!! Its not going to get better unless you 2 talk.
rudico67 8
I'm sorry this is happening to you, but on the other hand, this what most women experience.
Shzusuziq11 12
Get on top. You can be in control of speed then
SJKatt 15
You need to set boundaries. If you two can't find a middle ground for you both and can't imagine just having separate sex lives (either solo or via polyamory) it might be time to reconsider if the relationship is going to work out. Sexual compatibility is not EVERYTHING, but it can be big to some people. If that's you two, concessions need to be made or y'all should break up.