Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
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Top comments
banman12321 6
Oh it's not?
chaoticxxxmess 3
She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.
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Comments (133)
graciebaby1315 0
She's too young for you bro ?
Buzzy123 7
First come first to go?
kittea86 0
duh, sex sucks get the guy off and get to sleep
StuuPididiot 4
you must be a *****.
kaykay20 0
With couples it's about the experience leading up to the ****** not just to finish and be done with it. Maybe try some new moves that will spark both your fancy's and make it more enjoyable.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Yes all guys care only about themselves. You're not generalizing at all...
CambodianAssHole 4
stop complaining... that's a dream girl. quick and easy
perdix 31
No, she's got it wrong. It's *masturbation* that has the goal of finishing as fast as possible, and that's just to reduce your chances of getting caught. If you live by yourself, you could sit around watching hours of free internet ****, jerking it and icing it down everytime you come close to cumming. . . or so I've heard.
RakaI 8
tldr
lulzmylife 4
Yeah, that means you suck in bed. Here's a novel concept: instead of just focusing on your own desires, try talking to her and finding out what makes her feel good, and what methods you might use to satisfy her. Then do it. Self-centered people who don't care about their partners make the absolute worst lovers. Don't be one of them.