Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML
Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
You can't really blame him. A man and his penis are inseparable. Well at least I used to think that until Lorena Bobbitt came along.
MrSassypants 34
Luckily he isn't singing "Let's Get It On" to it.
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Comments (56)
bryce0110 23
Have him cut your hair and sing.
IvyRizzzzoli 25
What does that have to do with anything.....
badluckalex 23
I really hope you arent taking about cutting her pubes while singing
bryce0110 23
I was joking :/
bryce0110 23
It's a joke. :P
clairesucks 37
Well it made no sense
MrSassypants 34
Luckily he isn't singing "Let's Get It On" to it.
pedinhuh 23
Work it out on the floor! Work it out on the floor! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
cole_tyler42 21
Write poetry about your ******. Make him read it aloud to his penis. Problem solved.
anoniemm 13
Why don't you ask him if you can manscape him? :-) it might splice things up ;-)
anoniemm 13
Spice*!! Damn autocorrect...
Lizardgirl 7
I feel like that might not have been an accident.
Ali_Br_fml 33
But it fit so well here. ;) For once, autocorrect actually made a comment even funnier.
Exodiafinder687 58
You can't really blame him. A man and his penis are inseparable. Well at least I used to think that until Lorena Bobbitt came along.
bingalingading 12
haha dude your comments are never disappointing!!
ohSNAPyall 27
? Detachable penis ?
Ali_Br_fml 33
yes 23, but a sharp object was involved in making that one detachable...
alex1022 11
they are inseparable bro. i believe he had it reattached and then became a pornstar.
jbivens1992 17
Why was this ? voted down? it's true. it was reattached and he did become a **** star. a famous porno star. so actually educate yourself before commenting on someone's opinion when it happens to be a fact. idiot.
RebeccaRFT 18
Manscaping?
xninix_fml 36
It means he was shaving his downstairs area :)
RebeccaRFT 18
Oh okay. Thanks.
[email protected] 14
Clearly your to young to know what "Sex" is
DaDezza244 31
29, clearly you're an idiot because firstly it's you're not your and secondly it's too, not to!
indigohippopo 20
You're both idiots go away! >:(
jbivens1992 17
take pride in your ignorance lol. watching my husband man scape is just sad. he looks so scared the whole time...like a single nick with the razor will kill him. it's sort of funny...but also really sad.
Livin_Like_Larry 29
You have to start singing songs while you "woman scape" in the shower now
stryder9090 28
That sounds like a bond you don't want to have
pjsr 33
Contrary to popular legend, a dog is not a man's best friend ;)
timb1234 13
Lest he looks after it...wouldn't want a bear coming down on you
HairIsEverything 15
She's talking about him manscaping his Penis, not his beard. But I guess your comment could be right if he never trimmed his pubes. Just might look like more of an ant-eater to me... ps, if anyone can think of a better animal to describe a hairy genital area, please comment. I could use a good laugh
LittleBastard 20
#30 A mammoth.