Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML
Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML
Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me, "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
Well, that will be a fun 11 months...
imustbeinsane 2
how much money are we talking about?
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Comments (196)
notouchyy 6
Lock the door next time you take a shower!
wpgirl 4
Have fun with that
Simpson143 2
How much did he say he'd pay..?
elpacino32605 0
Hell no! I think that's a good enough reason to break the lease. I'll pay the fee!!!
MrKrinkle86 3
Awww he just wanted some dick for his b-day! I know how he feels.
frankwolf86 0
funny indeed
adri4apple 1
where did u find ur creepy ass roommate? lol
DamnSmooth 0
Remind him that men simply aren't sexy, so asking you to get naked is a waste of time & pointless. Also, beat the shit out of him for his god-awful, whiney taste in music.
tr3vst3r 5
Meh, time goes pretty fast these days..
AdolfShitler 0
Wtf? Break the lease and get out before butt bandit gets you!