Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML
Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML
Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me, "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
Well, that will be a fun 11 months...
imustbeinsane 2
how much money are we talking about?
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Comments (196)
Magnimus 4
I'm bisexual, and I still wouldn't stand for that. When I'm not attracted to someone, and they are attracted to me, I let them know straight up. YDI for not defining your limits.
TallMist 32
I was with you up until you said "YDI". Clearly the OP DID set limits, hence why their roommate started playing depressing music.
xela96 0
The ****?
hateevryone 15
tell his gay ass to go hire some strippers
bestfriends11 3
Ummm yea
lackofcorporate 1
It's because you're in Texass, quite frankly.
thatsmessedup123 2
their both ******* guys hell now im staight
Cora_Jay 8
You think that's bad, I wake up with my roommate's friend in her bed while my roommate goes to class at 7am. Her friend has a crush on me and everyday now I wake up with her watching me from her bed smiling. I don't usually wake up until 11am.
cufaoil 11
look on the bright side, she's watching you from HER bed.... you aren't a heavy sleeper, are you? have fun the morning you wake up with her snuggling up to you
JennyBear101 0
Good luck!!! Hope you have a lock on your bedroom door....
NPN_Scorpio 16
Ho and heigh, what do you say? Lets start right away preparing next year's gay for pay birthday! First, let's hassle The Hoff into producing the show of your roomies dreams: "Gaywatch". Pony up, make him eat your rainbow and poop butterflies!
Roguekiss 4
That sucks. But don't feel bad. Our roommates are just as crazy. He blacks out and beats her and he stole $$$ from our neighbors down the road at a party one time...so they arent allowed back over there and we cant invite them up here. And all she is a a lazy fat **** that wont get a job and eats everything in the house. Plus they are disgusting as ****. I swear i was in their room the other day and they had a park chop in the corner growing into the carpet. LOL. Plus one time he bought a gun. It was crazy. He almosted killed that bitch. But we really cant afford to live on our own right now. :/ &&& we still have 9 more months on the lease FML