Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask out the girl I like. After nervously fumbling through my words, I asked, "Want to grab a cup of water sometime?" She looked at me confused, then asked if I meant coffee. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML
Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
That's unfortunate. God is cockblocking you.
powersticks 16
Well at least you know that he never gets drunk and does stupid stuff.
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Comments (67)
smiller0789 3
That's unfortunate. God is cockblocking you.
The_Pleb 0
Dammit girl, thats the mans job, you just sit back and wait for someone to approach you. Thankyou for your time.
liveBabylon 0
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH SO FML shut up bitch, Come on FML Is ging down hill sooooo bad.
roseyredcheeks 0
maybe the person was gay? lol
fsebastianslife 0
for real 49! they will publish this shit but not the one i submitted when my kid beat up my boss's kid? like wtf?!?! fml
powersticks 16
Well at least you know that he never gets drunk and does stupid stuff.
greenltrn2003 0
correction...at least you know he never gets drunk
romaunts 0
actually, you just know that he wasn't getting drunk at that time. Of course, he could have already been drunk, or could be getting drunk later, or it could just be his turn to DD and next weekend he'll be so ****** up he won't know his own name.
FerrariCake 2
Maybe he was so drunk at the time that the bartender was giving him just water and he didn't know it.
OF37 0
maybe he was already drunk and ordered water instead
Rupus 0
I'm sorry, how has your life been screwed over? This is not a FML, this is a "Oh, something that's not really interesting happened to me today, I just thought I'd share it with you guys for no reason" kind of story.
fuzzybrownbear 0
I personally didn't find it funny, but i am sure someone probably got a small chuckle. So that makes it worth it. FMLs are supposed to be humorous, not terrifying stories.
kitkatkelly 0
I enjoyed it. FML is supposed to be about big AND little things -- read the FAQ. *shrug*
jchansfan 0
LOL... It took you 30 seconds to read that!?! Shammmme... :P
Rupus 0
Yeah, I understand that, but how is this undesirable?
Chopperman_fml 0
Sounds like you were hoping he was drunk...I wonder why?
maverick1752 16
I think I liked this comment just for Chopper....but I'm sure it was a good comment
sciencexgeek 0
Okk soOo... F your life .. whyy?? o_O
Dixie_Normous 0
Darn. I hope you managed to move on after that doozy of a pickle...
jloveee 0
sub the water with vodka for him then
Raiders714 0
LOL fuckit buy him another water lmfao
broken_chaos 0
Indeed, anyone worthwhile would applaud your brilliance for just plunging headlong into the situation knowing full well that it's just water.
kitkatkelly 0
Aw, tough luck. Happens to the best of us :(
Lisa89 3
How is this an FML? You got what you wanted.. Plus all the more reason to start up a conversation.