Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML
Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML
Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
One more example - In human relationships 3 is an unstable number. Inevitably two will pair up in some way against the 3rd or the 3rd will feel left out. When you mix romantic or sexual relationships with where you live or work this instability inevitably results in an FML. When the number of individuals in a group get larger, there can still be conflicts, but the conflicts are rarely as messy as when 3 are involved. OP, I am not saying anyone did anything wrong or started out to create the situation you are now dealing with - Just that human dynamics are complicated and messy. It’s best to avoid such situations where we live or work.
juggalo2 22
You're still responsible for dumb decisions you make. This was perfectly foreseeable. Don't s**t where you eat.
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Sounds like he intentionally trapped you in a catch-69. I mean catch-22!
Chazzster 32
One more example - In human relationships 3 is an unstable number. Inevitably two will pair up in some way against the 3rd or the 3rd will feel left out. When you mix romantic or sexual relationships with where you live or work this instability inevitably results in an FML. When the number of individuals in a group get larger, there can still be conflicts, but the conflicts are rarely as messy as when 3 are involved. OP, I am not saying anyone did anything wrong or started out to create the situation you are now dealing with - Just that human dynamics are complicated and messy. It’s best to avoid such situations where we live or work.
chrissutter35 5
Tri pods are stable thou lol jk
JasonThorn 23
Even in the days when polygamy was allowed and royalty had harems, there was one who was traditionally more favored than the others, and she was usually the one the others had to follow and obey. Whether they had the title of Wife or Favored Concubine, there was a hierarchy even among the women.
RichardPencil 32
You were either too good or too bad at sex to continue living there. Mediocrity is welcome everywhere.
juggalo2 22
You're still responsible for dumb decisions you make. This was perfectly foreseeable. Don't s**t where you eat.
Roxy Rousseau 11
Why are you even ******* your ROOMMATES BOYFRIEND to begin with? This conclusion was entirely foreseeable, you were always the odd one out. Of course they don’t want you around when things get sour.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
....because they all said it was okay? You’re kinda dense man. The issue here is that the roommates an asshoke.
bl3ur0z3 17
Permission or no, that was not ok.
tounces7 28
Don't shit where you eat.