Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML
Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML
Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me, "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that I need to move out, due to me having sex with his boyfriend. Even though he gave us permission, and told us to use protection. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
Well, that will be a fun 11 months...
imustbeinsane 2
how much money are we talking about?
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Comments (196)
iheartsthamanga 7
That sucks seriously..just know not to be caught naked around him lol jk hopefully things will be fine..^^
emilieee_fml 0
Fun...let the creepyness continue
aliadnan708 6
I'm guessing he got mad cuz u didn't let him see u naked sucks to be u
SoccerRebel594 0
Hmmm, how did you come to this genious conclusion?
mondayna 3
well done. you figured it out. do you want a medal for that?
KaintukeeBob 13
No, but can I have some capitalization and fully spelled out words? We can work on grammar and word choice later.
TattedUP89 0
you people have no lifes !
DeathBunny218 37
what a horrible person you are, making him depressed on his birthday XD Just make sure you lock your door when you're sleeping... and check your bathroom for hidden cameras
perdix 31
Dumb-ass! You could have been living rent-free for a year if you'd just wiggle your dick a bit. This month it's a birthday dance, but next month, it could be a Labor Day dance, then Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, Groundhog Day, St. Patrick's, April Fools', Mother's Day (awkward), Father's Day (super creepy) and Independence Day, and boom, you haven't paid rent for a year! You'd better oil up and get a G-string.
moosemonkey1000 6
To impress a chick... Helicopter dick.
jren207 24
You sound like quite the expert.
cufaoil 11
I'm sure there's something extra special planned for Valentine's day, Perdix...
SoccerRebel594 0
The business genius has spoken, this is the money making scheme of the century :)
kevind_fml 0
sounds like youve done this before?:o
bobthemarley 6
Lock the bathroom door...
848901 0
This is why you don't do the roommate thing...lol
JDMoriarty 1
While it's true he's creepy, "we're both guys" shouldn't really have made any difference. If one of you were female, it would still be creepy for one to demand naked dances from the other, and create an uncomfortable living situation for the next eleven months, right?
Ugi 27
There is a higher chance of mutual attraction (or at least lack of repulsion) if they are different sex simply because more people are straight. But I agree - the same FML ending "I don't fancy my roommate" would be just as disturbing.
mondayna 3
why the hell are you guys being so deep. creepy is creepy.
aFatFuck 0
Because you could expect a woman to be attracted to you. You don't expect a friend of yours that you think is straight to try an bang you. Obviously he's not attracted to guys so it makes it awkward. Stop being so god damn politically correct
ogle5431 1
Ummm no.
VicmahnFml 0
night night, keep yo buthole tight
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Aww come on! Just do a little dance.... You know you want to!
Amrel 10
Thats what i call into-me-i-see