Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Your luck is . . . ahem, shit. I've been around a long time and I have been using men's rooms appropriately for many, many years, and I have NEVER seen anyone taking a dump in a urinal. I'd say the odds of you seeing this in a chance encounter in a men's room are . . . *lowers sunglasses* ass-tronomical.
njgohard 16
what the blue **** did i just read?
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Comments (78)
manzylittle3759 6
Well that's a shitty situation.
hannaaaahr 33
And yet again, a pathetic attempt at getting tumbs up. This joke doesn't work, it never does. Please try again.
Wizardo 34
There should he humour assessments and social comprehension tests before FML let's people like #1 join the community... I despise your kind.
Damian95 16
"Another comment about #1"
MrConcise 35
Shitty situation isn't funny? Next you'll tell me hash tags aren't cool.
MzZombicidal 36
Well that's a shitty comment.
ozan4676 8
Why are you guys hating on this comment? What's wrong with it? So what if it is overused, does #1 always have to be the best comment to you guys? If it does, that's sad.
MzZombicidal 36
I have to clarify that my first comment was towards #12. My mistake.
Dusty_Busters 15
Don't Tate on number one! That joke was gold dude, don't let these old farts bring you down
dzhonatan 14
Or shituation?
ajh557 22
Ya guys I like his comment, stop dumping on him
carbonbasedcynic 17
it doesnt matter which number the shitty situation comment is cuz in the end its the lamest weaksauciest pun ever
wholikesbacon 9
Damn, OP, that is really gross. Just yell at your friends and I'm sure they'll let you out.
Ian7890 23
HAHA that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! you will have the best story to tell your grandchildren.
fsomelife 26
Do you...not have friends or something?
Mauskau 36
My brother's friend did that once at Download Festival to see if it would be cleaned up. Days later, it was still there.
HostEXE 8
ALAAAAAAAAAAN!
SwaggCapone 11
And you felt the need to share this why?
Vitualamen 11
He sounds classy. Truly classy.
MsConfusedd 27
I usually don't mind using men's restrooms when the women's line is too long, and lucky I've never been so unlucky as to see that.
ZeroPath5 16
That's weird...don't share that again
archnarquibquib 21
#43- but she's confusedd.
Dusty_Busters 15
You could get hurt doing that.
njgohard 16
what the blue **** did i just read?
piedpiper303 29
***** are blue now?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I always envisioned ***** being red..now my whole ******* world is blue!
piedpiper303 29
I've always envisioned my ***** as purple.. What am I doing wrong?!
DKjazz 20
**** ring's too tight.
Iamthetrees 5
Are u a smurf?
saIty 17
The shit that goes down in public bathrooms can change a man.
perdix 31
Your luck is . . . ahem, shit. I've been around a long time and I have been using men's rooms appropriately for many, many years, and I have NEVER seen anyone taking a dump in a urinal. I'd say the odds of you seeing this in a chance encounter in a men's room are . . . *lowers sunglasses* ass-tronomical.
IworkAt711 14
Ive seen it 3 times in my life. All in elementary school.
perdix 31
#35, I hope you weren't home-schooled :D
Embodiedrelic53 4
54, No...just no
olpally 33
That's seriously sick and twisted. The ****? Beat the crap out of your friends when you get out.
purebliss_fml 19
The irony definitely doesn't shield the fact that he is one gross person... How would you even get rid of such an image from your mind?
LemonandLime 13
What irony?
SierraCheyenne 8
He commented on OP's friends saying they were immature, yet he was ******** in a urinal which also happens to be immature. Most people don't find it funny, just like OP didn't find it funny to be pushed into the men's restroom.
LemonandLime 13
75, that isn't irony that's called being a hypocrite.