Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, after waiting two hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
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Top comments
Deez_Knots 10
HAHAHAAAHHAHA funniest one I’ve ever read
Phillycheeze 20
Oh shit.....
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Comments (31)
Phillycheeze 20
Oh shit.....
Alup132 22
I know it’s not the most fun, but you have a trash can, stuff happens. You could always put gloves on and put it back in the toilet and flush it if it’s fixed before taking out the trash. If you’re worried about smell, throw it away in a Ziplock bag or something... While you don’t deserve the clog, you deserve whatever your neighbor says to do for making that dumb decision.
Deez_Knots 10
HAHAHAAAHHAHA funniest one I’ve ever read
ryand82 11
never say a word about it
Chantalle Hensgens-Waltmans 19
You didn’t think to shut off the water? 😂
ViviMage 40
This is why you need a force ball plunger meant for a toilet! Not the one that is just half a circle flange, the whole circle flange! I hope you do know your poop acidic at 6.6 and will etch the car's paint?
1gullible_bugger 34
a pH of 6.6 is almost neutral. It's going to take quite a while for poop to eat away at the paint at a car. acid rain is more acidic.
Glowworm56 27
Shit happens but don't drag your neighbor into it.
Levi2411 41
I feel more concerned that your first instinct was to launch your shit off your balcony. Sharing is not always caring, op.
Tarlachia 33
Were you listening to Chris Stapelton’s “Fire Away” and launched the shit at the right timing to the song? 🎶Fireeeeeeeee awayyyyyy....”
Sheepiebeepie 26
I read cat haha was kinda funnier, a car can be hosed off!