Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML
Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML
Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I accidentally fell asleep in class due to a new medication I’ve started. My teacher also thought it would be funny to blow an air horn in my ear in front of everyone, scaring me half to death. I’m currently pissed off while waiting to take this up with administration as well. FML
Today, yet again, I woke up at the sound of my parents having sex like apes, and couldn't get back to sleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ashamed_Sister 60
"Dad, last night you were a really bad boy by keeping me awake all night. If this happens again I will have to spank you." After telling him something like this they will be much more careful in the future.
ViviMage 40
I'll take "I should be in bed and need brain bleach now!" For $500, Alex!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
wanted_2_want 40
If only there was an invention to cover your ears and mute all unwanted noises. Mmhhh. What could that be?
BurnInDemonFire 39
You might wanna say something. Even if it is really awkward.
real life problems 26
Ask him if he wants to borrow your ball gag to quiet him down a bit.
Ashamed_Sister 60
"Dad, last night you were a really bad boy by keeping me awake all night. If this happens again I will have to spank you." After telling him something like this they will be much more careful in the future.
real life problems 26
This sounds like the beginning of a step-dad and step-daughter porno
ViviMage 40
I'll take "I should be in bed and need brain bleach now!" For $500, Alex!
ViviMage 40
Get yourself some good noise canceling headphones!
1ninjanina 7
I personally can’t sleep with headphones on, or earbuds in my ears. But if he’s already got insomnia, maybe music or a movie might be the way to go. Better than the alternative.
Vesi 30
OMG! Poor guy! How do you think you got here? At least they were sensitive enough to your presence to try to keep it when you wouldn't hear. Get a grip. They're adults, consenting to play in the bedroom. Be glad they DO play! Lack of intimacy tends to lead to divorced parents. Good on them for keeping the spark alive.
julfunky 29
Get a grip? Maybe you don’t mind hearing your parents have kinky sex but the average person doesn’t enjoy it.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Would you like some brain bleach, or regular bleach?
KannaKamui 7
let me say this- I know how you feel, especially when i am right across from their room, and am hearing them quote the fifty shades of gray movies.... *shudder*
Ericathetomboy 9
At least they have a sex life