Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
If it's that bad perhaps you should see a doctor.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Maybe you both should invest in gas masks.
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Comments (61)
katluvr 22
I didn't read through all the comments, sorry about that. I would recommend FOOD GRADE diatomaceous earth. You can mix a tablespoon into an ounce of fruit juice. The taste is not noteworthy, the texture unimportant in such a small amount of juice. According to the information on the web it can help if parasites are the problem, and I've personally used it with no ill effect. The key is to use FOOD GRADE, not the kind available for pool filters or extermination purposes. I am not a medical professional and do not offer this advice as such, only my personal research and experience.