Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
If it's that bad perhaps you should see a doctor.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Maybe you both should invest in gas masks.
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Comments (61)
A_Net_70 7
They sell med for that or take laxative and clean your self out!!
TheDevilsDevices 15
It never crossed your mind to go to the pharmacy & buy some gas aid? Just sayin...
jmagd781 16
"for no apparent reason"?? obviously you're gassy. change your eating habits and(don't eat late at night) and don't eat gassy foods. problem solved.
LadyTyger51ne 8
Maybe you're pregnant?
tigerbite 3
could be a failing gall bladder. or just a lack of a certain vitamin. might be something you want to get checked out though, just to make sure it's not serious.
tehdarkness 21
Is it your time of the month?
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
open the window while sleeping
zyero 9
Humans expell on average one liter of gas per day via belching/farting. If you are one of those ladies that holds it in all the time from the unnatural belief that women don't fart, it all comes out at night when you are asleep and your sphincter relaxes.... I've been around one of those really pretty model-like women who never pass gas while she was sleeping on the couch.... Absolutely the most manly farts I ever did here and I could never look at her the same way again
theskankmonster 3
If you could 'never look at her the same way again' then it sounds like you too believe women don't fart. What exactly do you expect us to do?
TishaHowlett 7
bad gas is a uncommon symptom of pregnancy.
TishaHowlett 7
it could also be lactose intolerance