Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
If it's that bad perhaps you should see a doctor.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Maybe you both should invest in gas masks.
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Comments (61)
herpderpcx 18
Do you fart then as well or....?
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
Of course. She would still fart in her sleep whether it was at night or a nap on the couch during the day. The time of day wouldn't affect if she passed gas while asleep.
panicsdisaster 17
you were so excited about getting to leave the first comment that you forgot to read the post.
herpderpcx 18
Actually no, I read it but thank you
buffy999 11
Geez. That was rude. She just asked a simple question. Which I can understand. Cause her losing sleep at night. How is getting the sleep during the day to make up for it.
FluffyPandas156 13
That stinks. Hope you guys find another solution to actually get some sleep.
LilMissCanadian 22
I see what you did there...
Nilorak 24
We all do.
graceface1031 7
It's probably a minor stomach bug or something that's making you fart, OP. Hopefully it'll go away soon!
johnny29 14
try to find out what kind of food is causing it
Capteen_fml 16
Time to get a cork
skippydoda 32
If it's that bad perhaps you should see a doctor.
Hildy93 21
An average human farts 16 times a day. But idk if what you're doing is healthy....
Ericisme 9
13 times a day
LilMissCanadian 22
Perhaps it was something bad you ate. After a week you should see someone... feel better OP!
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Maybe you both should invest in gas masks.
ohSNAPyall 27
Definitely not the time to try out BreathRight strips.
RedPillSucks 33
change your diet and get some gas medicine
DLBL 23
"Gas medicine" does not stop farts. Gas medication works by breaking up the tiny bubbles that won't move along in your gut and cause painful bloating, so they form one big bubble that DOES move along.