Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skippydoda 32
If it's that bad perhaps you should see a doctor.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Maybe you both should invest in gas masks.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
homtravel 10
Bad ass protein farts.
besosforme 26
That's exactly what came to my mind! Those are the WORST! OP, changing the type of protein you're eating, or increasing or decreasing the intake significantly can lead to some serious protein farts... If you're consistent, it does level out after about a week, maybe a tiny bit longer. IF that's really the cause.
joshi42 16
There always a reason. Go and see a doctor.
lmbachman 23
Actually, you fart in your sleep all the time. It's just that they're really foul now. Probably a lot of eggs, meat – anything with a lot of protein and iron.
dietcoke09 25
My dad had that problem. What helped him was to stop eating after 6pm and cutting out all the bad food. Just some tips. I hope it helps!
IndefiniteBeauty 17
Maybe it's your diet? Have you changed anything new within the last week? There's always gas medicine stuff you could take as well.
gamernation89 10
??
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Seek medical help
criley221 19
Sounds like you need a gastroenterologist!
fmlsams 27
You should really look into that, OP. Sounds like you may be becoming allergic to something you're eating or taking regularly.
Witchylady 18
Must be something you ate that your body is having trouble digesting