Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
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Top comments
beeferjay 34
They say cats protect from evil spirits... Maybe you let out some demons without knowing it
BurnInDemonFire 39
What a cat-astrophe.
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Comments (16)
BurnInDemonFire 39
What a cat-astrophe.
thelittlem 15
cat-ass-trophe
BurnInDemonFire 39
No, that crosses into extreme Dad joke territory, and I'm nowhere near close to being a dad, so I kept the pun simple.
beeferjay 34
They say cats protect from evil spirits... Maybe you let out some demons without knowing it
John Nemeth 14
And thus the term “Fart like an Egyptian was born!”
Glowworm56 27
Curiosity may have killed the cat but he'll be damned if your fart kills him!
RichardPencil 32
It’s amazing that cats instinctively go for the blowhole!
Donut_Wizard 23
Sounds like the premise of a half-assed country song.
acmariner99 25
Cat: 1, Bum: 0
Madrias 36
The cat was just trying to save you from having another fart attack.
TCRII 30
Your cat knows that you should never trust a fart.
Tarlachia 33
Since cats typically nocturnal, maybe he was trying to shut off the alarm with his eyes still closed? Cat: “****, ****! Where is it?! So damn loud! Shut up!”
Charlie Given 28
Maybe your fart was so rank that it was disoriented so it instinctively attacked the growling monster near it🤣🤣🤣