iAmJasper
Sun Prairie, United States
Friends?
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Wakefield, United Kingdom
You made them use coasters, Monica
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Anonymous
Merrimack, United States
Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML
melonhead
Australia
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Anonymous
United States
Picky
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
Anonymous
Portlaoise, Ireland
The gang
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
vidzgrl
Canada
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Blah
Unloveable
Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML
NotYourFriend
Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML
danii
Reserved
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
dzisfml
Canada
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
Top comments
thefmljellyfish 10
Then they're not your real friends
markcallanan_ 20
Maybe make them leave?
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Comments (106)
huipizda 3
Your friends suck. And you deserve it
MrDonSalvetti 27
Why on earth does he deserve that? Because he is a good guy or what?!
junkman6 22
Well if you let people walk all over you, then yeah you kinda deserve it. You've got a spine for a reason use it.
askullnamedbilly 33
Well, it's his house, his food and his Xbox. He could've just told them to leave if it bothered him that much.
magickitten 26
They're taking advantage of you - something that real friends wouldn't do!
Shrllxx 13
I'm sorry.. I think you need some new friends. :/
Klima_fml 29
Just tell them to leave, and get some better friends!
drayloon 50
"friends"
doodlecloud 27
Did you laugh it off, maybe rib them back a bit, eat with them and play with them? Or did you sit back and feel sorry for yourself? I mean, if you really don't like it then fine, don't let them in next time. But this sounds like my bf - his friends like him fine and they've been friends for years. He DOES tend to be the butt of jokes a tad more than the others, but that's partly because he can get kinda stuck up and whiney about it. If he just took it in his stride it'd probably be much less of a big deal and they'd ease up a bit, and he'd enjoy himself more too. You've got friends over, food and video games - sounds good to me! So try to make it work before just assuming they're terrible people.
ooft 8
I don't get what everyone is whinging about, they sound like real mates to me
LisaDay 14
i dnt know why either. i guess theyre the ones who cant take a joke and once a friend teases them, theyre not friends anymore. best friends tease each other all the time!
amisenho 11
Maybe it's an American thing. I suppose some of us take hurtful comments too much at face value.
fictionaldiary 11
Isn't this normal friend behaviour? Me and my friends constantly make fun of each other, eat each other's food, and play video games together.
LisaDay 14
yes its normal. it actually shows theyre goid friends. op just need to grow up and joke with them.
zarrie_carrie281 21
its funny how you used "my friends"
bman54950 15
They're not your friends then. Stop letting them walk on you and make your feelings known and if they leave they were never your friends in the first place.