Friends?
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML
Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
thefmljellyfish 10
Then they're not your real friends
markcallanan_ 20
Maybe make them leave?
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Comments (106)
thefmljellyfish 10
Then they're not your real friends
JennaNGood 21
I was going to say that this is how you know they ARE your real friends. Maybe I need to sit down and reevaluate my life.
lex1459 38
I think the friends that do that are either the kind you've known since you were a baby or the shittiest friends ever.
doodlecloud 27
Nah, I agree with you 10. Particularly in the UK, I feel a lot of socialising is done through mutual complaining...getting to a level where you and your friend can freely complain about and mock each other is the ultimate level of friendship! It's usually only a surface level thing though. As in, teasing on the outside but true friendship on the inside. And the person you allow to most push the borders of teasing is also the one most likely to take a bullet for you.
Godsofdracos 15
Yeh I have to agree 20, my friends and I always **** with each other and pick at each other about stupid shit; our daily sup to each other is something along the lines of "what's up *****." If it really bothers you OP say something about it; they won't look down on you for it if they're truly a friend.
Helpfulman 17
Isn't that kind of what friends do though? If they are seriously making fun of him, he needs new friends, but if they're just joking OP needs to calm down a bit.
Brandi_Faith 34
I completely agree with 56, if they were just joking around then you probably need to calm down, maybe tell them if it really bothers you. If on the other hand, they are saying really hurtful things, are serious when making fun of you, you are the only one they pick on out of the group, or you don't even hang out with them often, then I would say look for new friends.
cryssycakesx3 23
"my friends came over to my house eating my food..." I'd be a bit stunned if I went to visit a friend, only to find his house eating his food and such.
crissalove 22
You definitely need new friends OP
LisaDay 14
it depends. if theyre new friends, then yes. but if theyre friends hes known since he was young then thats a sign of true friendship.
markcallanan_ 20
Maybe make them leave?
blinked_281 29
Yeah, sounds like some true friends to me.
catmint 13
Yeeahh some friends. Tell em where to go OP.
AviKerensky 17
And you didn't throw them out why?
Ltsdragons 19
They may have known each other for quite a while, I make fun of my friends a lot but they don't really care they laugh because they know I'm kidding. We greet each other with something like "Oh my God, you, why." It doesn't even make sense but it's really not that bad, my friends come over and steal my food and stuff I don't mind. You've known each other for such a long time, this stuff goes by fine, only known each other for a while and you need new friends
AviKerensky 17
I poke at my friends, too. But when it gets so bad I consider making an FML out of it, it's time to throw their asses out, at least for the day.
amisenho 11
Sometimes, when you're desperate for friends, you'll take any person that walks into your life, even if they don't show you much respect. There was only one person in middle school that I was allowed to hang out with after school, and the only thing he wanted to do when I visited was punch and wrestle me until I came home with bruises all over my body. My parents apparently didn't see the problem with a 12-year-old boy beating up a 14-year-old girl on a daily basis.
Ravike 17
sounds like your best friends
jeriaslovesyou 16
Get new friends, they sound like douche bags.
Jasper1405 16
well sir, you have discovered a phenomenon that we like to call: a-holes in disguise as “friends“. i suggest you take no risks and kick them out.
ultratroll 3
I'd do that to mine friends and I'd have sex with them later.