Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, due to an incident with the dishwasher, a coat rack and my bathrobe, I ended up locked out of my house, naked as a jaybird. I had to hide in the backyard for several hours until my family got home from their various activities to get back in. They still haven't stopped laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
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Top comments
DHoffmann 9
Perfect situation to just yell "****".
ariannaimelda 7
Instead of writing an FML you could be cleaning! Priorities my friend
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Comments (182)
nitram06 2
Clean up fast! Damn FYL..
enonymous 9
Sounds like a quiet night with some friends ... little wine and some pictionary involved
awesome_king 3
Must be thinking wtf happened last night!
SteveTheJanitor 6
She can do it! If they can clean up the things after a party in movies it can definitely be done in real life!
Yousuck24 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
37: Yeah because movies are totally real and reflect on what's going to happen in real life.
SteveTheJanitor 6
44: yep exactly
chell1894 13
Except there's always that one little thing they missed that gives it all away
Keyman1212 14
44: Yeah because 37 was being totally real and wasn't being sarcastic in real life.
Marktheshark 0
Seems you're wasting time posting a fml when you should be cleaning up!
CraneTG 0
What are you doing here on FML???!!! Go clean up that shit first and then come post it!!! Dad is going to be piiiiissed!!
Llama_Face89 34
It's time for the TEN SECOND TIDY!!!
Jovecove 13
It better be a Friday night.
False_Stupidity 42
This sounds like a job for... Supermaid!
jvillan87 5
Is it just me? Or are there two number 44s on here?
HomeAl0ne 20
Don't forget the garden shed. There's a clown duct taped to the ceiling in there.
HideouslyHuman 10
Seriously did you invite the "One Man Wolfpack." over?Why would you be naked???!?
okiidokii_fml 6
LAST FRIDAY NIGHT!
DHoffmann 9
Perfect situation to just yell "****".
chell1894 13
Or right when your parents walk in just nod your head saying "******* gypsies"
helloimmia 4
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-
SteveTheJanitor 6
CCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK-
EpicPear 0
Ha.
KaanTech 0
-ha
Life_sucks_13 6
It really is
rexgar2000 10
she was naked O.o
jonn090 13
Ecstasy is such a beautiful art o_o
Georgieeporgiee 9
Haha! Nice! Sounds like you had fun last night!:P
alejandratx 8
You deserve it!! But I'm guessing u had a awesome time(:
edgestr 2
Won't be having such an awesome time when the parents return. But you deserve it. Be more responsible.
Llama_Face89 34
Responsibility is for the bored.
deaper 16
I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!! You're a dumb@$$ for having a bunch of teenagers over to a party where they were gonna be drinking… Errr strike the "drinking" and replace it with "getting sh*t-faced drunk off their @$$es!" YDI FOOL! FYL for being a stupid teenager that only cares about getting drunk!
NomOnShroomz 14
^Woah chill buddy!! Need some grass? I can hook you up...
GardeningHoes 0
84- They never said there would be drinking at the party, your argument is invalid.
RA661 8
Sounds to me like you better get cleaning.
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Yeah, no sense in waisting time writing this on FML....stupid people, smh
Iheartfunny 1
wow that party must have been intense
towelyey 0
Tell them the gravity in your house turned off. Or a tornado hit.
deaper 16
YEAH… That's gonna work! :: rolls eyes ::
False_Stupidity 42
All in under 1 hour... Sounds like a job for.. SuperMaid!
chelseaaababyyy 17
86 - i think you took his 'suggestion' a little too seriously
ollie179 21
So put some clothes on,hide your skin, clean the place up, unstick the coins from the ceiling, go down to the 99 cents store, buy a couple things, go home and pretend nothing happened.
RockstarRN 10
That's some party!
cc_the_beast 6
Cocaines' a hell of a drug...
youngbuck10 9
Family Guy reference FTW :)
FMLISFUNNY13 5
I dont think there was coc involved
e077 15
That is actually a chappelle show reference.
AzKoldAzICE 3
Yea the family guy reference would have been meth is a hell of a drig
cc_the_beast 6
Love Chapelle (and family guy)...**** yo couch n***a!
ariannaimelda 7
Instead of writing an FML you could be cleaning! Priorities my friend
RockstarRN 10
I was thinking the same thing!
Enslaved 38
Hell no! He's going down no matter what. One hour left to continue the party!(:
eveadamsnyc 2
Sounds like a good time.
SPD935 5
Sounds like one hell of a party. Gotta watch out for those damn roofies.
godbear 5
they needa change the name to floories
SPD935 5
I agree godbear. I agree.