Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML
Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML
Today, I was sick and tired of my husband talking to his female friend from high school all the time. They reconnected after 7 years and have been talking non-stop day and night, to the point of neglecting the marriage. I told him it was either me or her. He took off his ring and kicked me out of our house. FML
Today, after I continued repairs on the home of a hoarder family member, guess which one of us wasn't invited to the family dinner… FML
Today, my boyfriend and I spent all day preparing an amazing meal for my extended family, and then 3 hours before dinner his crazy mother forced him home because she felt "excluded". He's spent the past 3 days with her. There's no way for me to keep him and get rid of her. FML
Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML
Today, it's been about two months since I made my husband sleep in the spare room after an argument. I invited him back to our room after two nights but he refused. Since then he’s moved a TV, Xbox, fridge and new armchair into the spare room, and put a lock on the door only he has a key for. I’ve barely seen him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RememberSchlitz 9
OK, maybe he gets a little drunk at dinner and you let him crash on the couch for the night. But how can the guy think that both he and his son staying for a week is even remotely OK?
GlennGuagmire 20
One week is a lot of time. Should've kicked him before.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
GlennGuagmire 20
One week is a lot of time. Should've kicked him before.
missa8604 26
This reminds me of that movie You, Me and Dupree!
RememberSchlitz 9
OK, maybe he gets a little drunk at dinner and you let him crash on the couch for the night. But how can the guy think that both he and his son staying for a week is even remotely OK?
Goblin182 27
It took you a week to kick him out?
Tripartita 45
Ugh, I've been there, OP. Since then, I swore off week-long dinners. I can now get through about three meals a day, and guests don't have to spend multiple nights on a single dish!
PhoenixChick 26
I really want to know what your husband thought of all this.
GlennGuagmire 20
I believe she almost kicked the husband as well.
msmedieval 11
The husband is probably the reason it took her a week to kick the guy out.
KrDizzy 16
Lol this FML reminds me of when my friends threw a party at their place and let one of the drunk guests sleep over since he obviously couldn't drive home. He ended up staying over for 2 weeks. They even tried to get him to leave by saying they were going over to family's house for dinner. Nope, he ended up tagging along to the family dinner too, haha. Make the asshole mooch pay rent.
Attacksloth 33
I don't understand this. It's their house. Why, unless they were being threatened with a gun, would they let this person stay 2 weeks?
Rabite 28
Me neither. If it's necessary remove him physically, shut the door and if he stays at the door and waits for a moment to get back in call the cops.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Some people are just overly nice to the extent that people take advantage and walk all over them. The OP and her family could be like this. My grandma is similar, she's let tons of people stay with her over the years, even when they start disrespecting her house and wear out their welcome. She just doesn't have the heart to tell them to leave once she invites them in. Maybe, like my grandma, the OP needs to work on being more firm, and learning that there's a line between being nice and being a pushover.
Thumbs82 13
Too bad you can't have your dog bite the little monster. Then you could laugh. What an asshole.
Rabite 28
I hate it when parents encourage animal abuse. This has to stop.
Mysterybounty 6
How does it go from "come over for dinner" to him staying even a day, let alone longer?!