iAmJasper
Sun Prairie, United States
Friends?
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Wakefield, United Kingdom
You made them use coasters, Monica
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Anonymous
Merrimack, United States
Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML
melonhead
Australia
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Anonymous
United States
Picky
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
Anonymous
Portlaoise, Ireland
The gang
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
vidzgrl
Canada
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Blah
Unloveable
Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML
NotYourFriend
Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML
danii
Reserved
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
dzisfml
Canada
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
Top comments
thefmljellyfish 10
Then they're not your real friends
markcallanan_ 20
Maybe make them leave?
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Comments (106)
amisenho 11
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
bobbifein55 4
I would have kicked them out and told them never to come back. Stick to your guns and don't let them return for any reason. Find some way to insult them while you're at it too and ask them how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot!
MossyMegaMan 20
Either terrible friends, or best friends. if you've known them for a year or more, and you make those jokes too, they're true friends. If you've only known them for 1-7 weeks, tell them to stay the **** away. if it hasn't been a year, but past 7 months, test them and see if they react violently. if they do, repeat step 2.
kevb10 3
They are not your friends. They are your best friends. Congratulations OP :)
TheCrispyCat 20
That's when you tell them to get the **** off your property.
Pyrithium 8
And you let them. The problem is you're a pussy. Stand up to these ******* and kick their asses out.
mattmsk005 8
You Gona cry like a bitch about it or do something?
Goodlett29 1
Dud get better friends u dont need that crap
DaFunnyGuy 4
That's what happens at my house.
ihateeveeything 8
"Friends"