Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
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Top comments
kumonsucks 7
Sir you have a neck. Looking down isn't illegal
Nighthunter 11
Good first impression! Especially on the dog!
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Comments (182)
lizzys1972 3
Lmfao
devon8823 4
It's ok I've done that before I have big dogs and am use to kicking them away with my foot I'm sure it was just your reaction to it.
Werken247 14
YAY! Animal abusers unite! *dipshit*
vbabeangel186 9
Just think, what if, instead of a dog, it could've been a little kid. If the gf had a little sibling or a cousin over. That's why you should use a little common sense, you moron! Look down before you react!
Zebediabolical 45
If it was a tiny sibling or cousin, that would have made the story even more epic.
LemonLolly 10
You kick your dog that hard???????
charvisioku 22
???????????????????????
rara_boo 7
If you're at the parent meeting stage, why the hell didn't your gf tell you that one, they have a dog and two, what kind it is?
darkmis1 18
Because nobody should have to stop and say "by the way, please don't kick my dog across the room when he wants to play."
Werken247 14
And now I have the image of OP's penis flying across the and sticking in your head.
TwiztedYuri 9
you kicked a mutated rat.... what of it?
desertlovebird 11
Mabey you should look before punting a little dog across the room. Sheesh. Great first impression.
K_kanaka 26
Ouch
Leno_fml 5
Damn dawg. Lol