Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML
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Top comments
SimplyBird 9
Fart to prove them wrong
Verst 16
Instead of talking to your girlfriend about it, have a private conversation with her father. Find out what His issue is.
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Comments (78)
christian2234 15
Seriously ?
Rainhawk94 27
He's completely cereal
SimplyBird 9
Fart to prove them wrong
zandalee 20
No, it's all in the piss. Challenge him to a pissing contest. He who has the worst reek coming from their piss is the one who actually did eat their asparagus!!!
swick25 22
#22 beat me to it. I was going to say what does farting have anything really to do with asparagus. It is Allllllll In the urine.
crazytwinsmom 25
Farting is for broccoli proof of consumption.
Rainhawk94 27
Home of challenge pissing! If you can pee 10 feet in the air and not get wet, you get a free car!
TheCovertGamer 2
No down payment, don't wait, don't delay, don't **** with us or we'll rip your nuts off. Go to big bill hells cars the only dealer that tells you to **** off.
corporatescoundr 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least he's joking with you and not threatening your life like I will do to my daughter's future boyfriends...
RadikulRam 16
Yeah you look like a real threatening guy, 10/10 would shit my self again.
corporatescoundr 25
I don't look threatening in my picture but at 285 & 6' 2" I don't really care about how I look in pictures lol
allie2590 31
Whoa easy there. lol
corporatescoundr 25
Lol that was a response to someone who deleted their comment... I'm not trying to impress anyone
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Because that's not insane or anything...
JtPv 14
Alright, calm down Satan.
corporatescoundr 25
#47 never claimed I was sane... #53 I thought I heard my name called
jazzy_123 20
ok 70, stop trying to seem badass and shut up... please.
Verst 16
Instead of talking to your girlfriend about it, have a private conversation with her father. Find out what His issue is.
Verst 16
he* My apologies.
adi33 8
His*
masterof1 7
*his
Rainhawk94 27
Hisssss hissss i hear a snake
Verst 16
Not paying attention at all backfires sometimes.
rhcpgurl 18
The fact that she didn't believe you is a factor that she may not be the one
GRubi 17
Unless her father has a history of lying, there would be no reason for her to believe her new boyfriend, who she's probably only known a few months, over her father, who she's known her whole life.
naxeeb 33
He's obviously just pulling your leg. Be honest with your girlfriend and tell her how you couldn't have done it. Considering that he pulled a prank on you, I'd say that you're doing pretty good!
arandomusernameaa 20
That or he hates him already and wants him out...
StompinOnCrayons 15
Well, just explain afterwards :)
jojimugo 20
Dude you got trolled .... Big time
Dinoporeon 9
Even dogs need to eat their vegetables.
allie2590 31
Nope, they're actually carnivores.
swick25 22
Actually if you research it they eat vegetables. Green vegetables were a very big part of my dogs diet we had him on for Cancer. The Vet highly approved of this as well. Research your information and get it correct before making a comment like that. Thanks and have a wonderful daaaaaaaay..... :D
Enslaved 38
What about all those dog foods that advertise that theirs are made with wholesome grains, real beef, and accented with vitamin-rich vegetables?
perdix 31
#21, nope, they're actually omnivores.
Cbethkid 15
Yeah but he was only on it because a vet said so. People who veganize their dogs even if they're healthy annoy me. Let the dog eat what it's supposed to.
ksks1234 33
21-- cats are true carnivores, dogs are omnivores.
babyshanice 12
There is nothing you could really do in that situation! Just take it and keep it moving....