Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cuz803 46
That's tough. Guessing by your profile name, that drew that last straw for your new girlfriend. I recommend talking to your overprotective sister to quit the act if the ass whupping didn't curtail her overprotective behavior. It's messing up your dating life. Or maybe simply keep your future girlfriends away from her ass (mostly for her own safety). Hope the scrap was entertaining at least.
Crowned Sataness 12
your sister deserved it. the gf is a keeper.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
cuz803 46
That's tough. Guessing by your profile name, that drew that last straw for your new girlfriend. I recommend talking to your overprotective sister to quit the act if the ass whupping didn't curtail her overprotective behavior. It's messing up your dating life. Or maybe simply keep your future girlfriends away from her ass (mostly for her own safety). Hope the scrap was entertaining at least.
RichardPencil 32
Good thing your sister took the ass-kicking that could have been unleashed on you. You ought to give your sister a nice gift so she can back up her tough talk, like martial arts classes or a gun.
Crowned Sataness 12
your sister deserved it. the gf is a keeper.
Alan883 11
no she isn,t, the (going by the username) ex-girlfriend is certainly not a keeper. was op's sister talking shit she shouldn't have ? yes, she most certainly did. but if you think beating someone up for that kind of remark is fine than try it and than ask a judge about it. it shows severe anger issues and a lack of self restrained, it might aswell have been the op that got the beating half a year down the relationship for some minor reason.
bobsanction 18
Sounds like your sister got what was coming to her. Don't write checks your ass can't cash.