Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
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Top comments
kumonsucks 7
Sir you have a neck. Looking down isn't illegal
Nighthunter 11
Good first impression! Especially on the dog!
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Comments (182)
carsonphillips 7
Good. I'm proud of you, OP.
CorruptAngel920 18
Well, considering OP punted said dog into another room from an entranceway, the dog might not have flown far. If the entranceway is pretty big... I can't fully say ydi, only because my dog does the same thing and a hard shove gets her to stop. (No, it's a shove, not a kick) OP's shoe could have gotten caught under the dog's chest/abdomen and that caused the "punt" but I won't vote either way on this one
Yongchi 11
For anyone asking about the chihuahua's state of health... OP's username. That is all.
trsignorino 3
That's not a very nice thing to do to a dog, but since a Chihuahua falls under the category of rodent, you're fine.
nckjyc 13
Your username made me laugh more than the story
onorexveritas 24
hopefully no one saw o.o
lolfood 24
You mean your dumbledore?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
lol
darkmis1 18
"Shoved hard with your foot." You mean you kicked the poor dog! Don't try to get sympathy here after you kicked an innocent dog into another room. I hope he's ok and you better cover and vet bills he may need!
Satoaoi 13
you deserve it for assuming and you especially deserve it if that's what you do with your own dog when he wants to just play with his best buddy