Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
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Top comments
kumonsucks 7
Sir you have a neck. Looking down isn't illegal
Nighthunter 11
Good first impression! Especially on the dog!
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Comments (182)
perdix 31
Yo quiero revenge.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Yup your an arsehole
BostonBear 33
that has ydi written all over it.
Schizomaniac 24
Here's what you do.. Actually, there is no way out of this one. Bow out, sir. You're done.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well, now I have the image of Op's penis flying across the room stuck in my head. Thanks, Noor.
HowieDoIt 21
You kicked the dumbledore!
charvisioku 22
As far as I'm concerned, that's a fantastic way to greet a Chihuahua.
AG1216 18
Thats terrible, i have a chihuahua and they are wonderful dogs. Its just like saying a pit bull is evil. It depends on how its trained/who their owners are.
eericcartman 5
Not sure if it's dead as your name suggests, but you are probably dead to your girlfriend's parents.
SuperDanielNL 23
Meh, I hate chihuahua's but that sucks for you and your gf's family if they really loved their pet.
happle 21
Implying they probably don't love their pet...
SuperDanielNL 23
Well if they couldn't stand the doggie they would secretly be gratefull.
AllieCat21 21
If they couldn't stand the dog, they could give it away to someone else...
tj5810 21
What a dick head move on your part. Honestly, I'd do the exact same thing to you if I knew you did that to my dog. Hopefully you would land and cause a big thud too, you idiot.