Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
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Top comments
kumonsucks 7
Sir you have a neck. Looking down isn't illegal
Nighthunter 11
Good first impression! Especially on the dog!
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Comments (182)
mfayem 15
People are getting uppity over "excessive force" but you are used to handling a 100+ pound dog. Your forceful shove more than likely doesn't deter him much. When your habit kicked in with a 3 pound Chihuahua there was a much different result. Shit happens. Apologize and try to explain the situation.
Ameel_fml 19
I can understand "shoving" a big dog out of the way, but "shoving" a chihuahua generally wouldn't "punt" it across a room. Unless the OP is exaggerating, the force used to "punt" a small dog across the room would potentially be enough force to injure a bigger dog if you hit them in the wrong area. That's not a shove, that's a kick. (And I say this as someone who has owned both big and small dogs in the past.)
kawaiisakura 12
If u were my bf, I'd be pretty pissed off at u.
simoncat 11
Jerk
twiztedone 19
That's what the little bastard gets!! Can't stand those little ankle biters!!
plaguer 26
They're ankle biters because they're small? I've owned small dogs that never bit, and the only time I have been bitten was by a large red heeler. :I
DanielleinDC 34
No matter how big or small the dog is, you shouldn't be kicking him when he is tugging on your clothes. Whatever happened to pulling your leg away from the dog or saying, "No" firmly? YDI. You should be brought up on animal cruelty charges for kicking dogs.
vbmg152 19
Idiot!!! :-( I hope the poor dog is okay.
KM96 24
Poor dog ;(
generalasskicker 12
I understand I've done that before
_wraith 15
Honestly, I can't stand chihuahuas. That being said maybe next time you're in someone's house you won't feel so... at home.
Ameel_fml 19
They're really lovely dogs if an owner knows how to treat them properly. Sadly, too many owners treat chihuahuas like a baby more than a pet so they end up with snappy, growling little menace who reacts badly if you so much as look at it wrong.
alycion 39
My aunt has one who is a different type of menace. Think the walk off of the old perv's dog on family guy, but doing so to rub his wang on everything in sight. It's kind of creepy really.
athos1237 4
YDI but kudos for the chihuahua punt!