Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend’s birthday is a month before mine. I'd spent my birthday savings on his, but he told me that we couldn’t do anything for mine because, “I didn’t plan or organize better.” FML
Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML
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Top comments
HeyMondayAddict 4
Maybe he just feels really good about getting you something.
UnikornG33K 12
Aw that sucks, but at least he got you something, right?
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Comments (175)
dreamcatcher11 4
"Today, it's my birthday. All I got from my boyfriend was birthday sex. Is that all boys think about? FML" Some people are never happy...
Brahmzy1 3
Obviously not being very seductive
laevatin 2
I wonder What kind of purse it was.. I mean it's not like you never going to have sex with him.
steelx3 4
It's if you want it so much, reverse rape him. I'm sure he would mind.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
What the **** is 'reverse rape'?
na1r0d_fml 0
You need your birthday to have sex ?
Ryan_Jaxson 8
Hey! On the bright side, at least you know your boyfriend loves you truly and not for your body! ;)
1crabbygirl 10
Haven't you ever been really proud of a gift you gave someone? It means he put a lot of thought into it. Maybe some other girl deserves such a thoughtful guy and you could find someone else to just bang?
Ugi 27
You write as if receiving a gift inevitably meant that was all you were getting that day. I can't see why the conversation didn't go: BF: Happy Birthday - I got you this. OP: Ohhh what a lovely purse. I'll go perfectly with my [whatever]. Now, let me thank you properly ...[censored]. Any even slightly creative seduction would surely be enough to turn your BF's head from a purse, however lovely he thought it was.
Crazberry 5
Don't complain... He tried to do something nice for you. How many fmls are there that say that no one got the OP anything at all? If you want it so bad, pounce him later, I really don't think he'd have any complaints.
hblank 4
That's all I wanted but I got dumped. She said it was my fUlt too.