Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend’s birthday is a month before mine. I'd spent my birthday savings on his, but he told me that we couldn’t do anything for mine because, “I didn’t plan or organize better.” FML
Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML
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Top comments
HeyMondayAddict 4
Maybe he just feels really good about getting you something.
UnikornG33K 12
Aw that sucks, but at least he got you something, right?
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Comments (175)
PrincessPesa 20
If he likes it so damn much, he should marry it! All corniness aside, thank him politely, then excuse yourself and change into something you feel super sexy in. Then come back and take what you really want, girl. If seduction fails, ask if he'd like to borrow the handbag in exchange for birthday sexin'. ::Sexism not intended!::
tswizz 13
Maybe you should just be grateful he remembered and actually got you a present?
PrincessPesa 20
She should be grateful he remembered her birthday?! In that case there's a lot more re-evaluating to be done about this relationship than purses and sex. It seems they fail to communicate well, if at all.
MedKits 9
I think he's referencing the idea that a lot of men don't even remember their significant other's birthday.
jizzwold 21
55 I believe you meant "… a lot of stupid people don't remember their significant other's birthday."
SkoomaKi 28
I think your boyfriend is a giving guy. He's not all about sex, which is good. Why wouldn't you want a purse? If its not the design you want you can always return it.
tzhiting93 3
Lol, how is this a FML? You're lucky he bothered to get you a present AND not think about sex all the time. Suck it up.
shayshayshazam 14
Oh wow that sucks! I'd absolutely hate having a boyfriend that was excited about the gift he got me for my birthday! Yeahh, poor you, and all that...
adorkablenerd 0
Aw, OP, maybe he just didn't want to have sex with you?
Scrts 3
So You can't say You want to make love with him and ask him for the best birthday present he can give?.. Women... No more words needed.
I_Punch_Babies 7
doesnt matter got a purse
DarkCity320 0
Could have been worse no bday sex and no gift!
Eila1996 5
but purses are lovely!