Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend’s birthday is a month before mine. I'd spent my birthday savings on his, but he told me that we couldn’t do anything for mine because, “I didn’t plan or organize better.” FML
Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HeyMondayAddict 4
Maybe he just feels really good about getting you something.
UnikornG33K 12
Aw that sucks, but at least he got you something, right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (175)
UnikornG33K 12
Aw that sucks, but at least he got you something, right?
greeneyedpothead 10
Make the best of it and involve the purse in your birthday sex. Figure it out OP!!
Addyy_ 5
How the hell would you do that?
JocelynKaulitz 28
Maybe he's trying to catch you by surprise?
jajaflan 4
You should buy him a purse no joke
Whatever0084 2
Wtf? He gave you a nice gift and what do you do? Fmylife!!!! Naah fuckit, im done.
ifoundalaska 11
16- come in the purse?
Addyy_ 5
91 - Okay, that's just strange.
ifoundalaska 11
Well it would be incorporating the purse.
iiTsAJ 5
If she wanted to incorporate the purse into it, she could just model it naked, which will most likely lead to sex.
AFCA020 4
Depends what she looks like... Unless you mean the purse is the 'turn on' ...
Drigr 9
Agree with 49. If the boyfriend had gotten nothing and wanted to just have sex, we would still see an FML about it..
blueandpurpleroc 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Time to question someone's sexuality. Either that or he's metro.
igive 29
or he is a decent boyfriend who cared enough to buy her something she'd most likely use.
Devin91 20
Well this is a very metro sexual generation, but I doubt it's that because he probably cares about his gf.
michellenKG 5
Well it could have been a lot worse I guess
xlord 27
He could've gotten her a walrus and the walrus took a massive dump in the kitchen?....everything can always be much worse...
kira_the_boss 1
She could always get birthday sex from someone else and then give the purse back to him so everybody is a winner
HeyMondayAddict 4
Maybe he just feels really good about getting you something.
tygerarmy 35
He probably put a lot of time and thought into the gift. Say how awesome it is and thank him with sex. Win-win!
CaptMurdock 25
Hmm, sounds like someone's questioning his sexuality... But hey, on the bright side, at least he got you something!
Angitia 8
You're an ignorant little prick, now, aren't you?
lolretard 0
Wow wow heeey chill it 66.
shannonreneee 11
5, just because he has good taste doesn't mean he's gay. He could be so proud that he chose so well he keeps talking about it. Plus there are some gay men who have horrible fashion sense!
michellenKG 5
well it coulda have been a lot worse i guess
thejewishfuhrer 17
This comment sucked the first time you posted it. That's twice.
LadyGore 12
That's when you whip out the sexy panties and seduce him.
ladyLALAA 29
OP should just get nude and strut around with the purse he bought...
ladyLALAA 29
OP should just get nude and strut around with the purse he bought...
vocaloidtiger 12
Jealous of that purse getting all his love?
vocaloidtiger 12
Hey, I'm just sayin'. Be thankful that he actually got you something, he was just happy. Trust me, it could've been worse
22jrdn55 15
i love birthday sex too, lets bang
Doxy 22
With such pickup lines I'm surprised you even have time to read FML with all the sex you're getting and all the women begging you to take them.
Keevarou 17
That's kind of cute :) At least he does not only care about sex, so you know you got a keeper. So cherish that he don't want sex 24/7, because you may get bored of it and make excuses later. Not likely, but may happen. And I kind of envy you.. So have a nice birthday!:)
luv2cheat 0
wow I can't believe your post, and by and by you look nothing like Kurt cobain, you look more like that Chris guy that was screaming and crying when people were bashing brittney spears...lmao!!!
Keevarou 17
52, it's a joke:P And I have heard that on stickam before xD
ifoundalaska 11
52, what the hell is wrong with you
Keevarou 17
Something is wrong with 52..? O.o I don't really mind him atm ^^
DoctorWhooves13 5
Yay! Your a brony! *brohoof*
Keevarou 17
*brohoof* Always nice to see fellow bronies