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FMyLife
Anonymous United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

101

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

TaiReiSi 12

Wait, whose birthday does he think it is?

tygerarmy 35

So, what did he say when you told him to bend over?

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Comments (101)

TaiReiSi 12

Wait, whose birthday does he think it is?

iBanana 17

Yeah I heard anal hurts. Birthdays aren't supposed to be painful.

kangx1 28

Birthdays are always painful birthday beats

gjikvtj 18

I'm new here, are we going the break up with him way, file a lawsuit way or don't worry OP it'll get better way?

fmlgiraffe 23

#3 - not painful if you do it right, and take it slowly!

incoherentrmblr 22

Says the giraffe that's really a cat...

fortune789 17

I don't think I'll ever be using nature's condom.

1dvs_bstd 41

yup that pretty much sums FML comments. The one I hate most is "you mean ex, right?!"

PageantGirlXOXO 16

Who needs abstinence when you can just do anal???

ibanghellokitty 8

Then it'll be alright 8) -#28

klovemachine 24

That is a crappy gift :O

unjustlychicken 10

you had to do it, didnt you?

95DeVille 13

I'm going to start getting anal about these shitty puns, no ifs, ands, or butts about it.

incoherentrmblr 22

...Sphincter...

95DeVille 13

@39, glad you got my Family Guy reference.

hotbutthurttoast 13

I'd be pretty pissed off

tzemmy 25

Well, ehat did you say?

lambda_fml 40

I think she asked for e Hat as a present instead. See what I did there (;

Rob3062 3

Offer him back the gift of singleness

xlord 27

....or offer him back the gift of anal ;)

eyepuppy 31

So much win in this thread :D

cakefete2 31

I like the way you think, Xlord. When OP gives her bf the "gift of anal", she should be sure to hide the receipt so he can't return the gift.

Pussycat86 18

My ex once asked to give me the same gift, I said I would if he would let me give him the same gift first! He agreed! My sex life was shitty!

tygerarmy 35

So, what did he say when you told him to bend over?

Puffytruffles 18

"It's ok. Come in dry."

SunTzu2 9

I love it!!! Hahaha... I mean tygerarmys classic sense of humor! Good one

driftlobster 10

He sounds like a pain in the ass.

GirlGamer12345 22

I think she's being to butthurt

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

I would give him the gift of a good slap across the face

BexBaby86 21

Spankings sure! Anal.. Not so much. Unless trying something new on your birthday is something you're willing to do. Happy birthday anyways!

onlychildFTW 34

If he wants anal she should put on a strap on and give him anal.

mcrblackred 8

At first I read brother instead of boyfriend... at least it wasn't that awkward!

RedPillSucks 33

You should have told him bend over so you can receive his anal gift with the end of your foot

TheDrifter 24

Ouch RPS, straight to extreme insertions? I'd say she should at least break him in with a fist or something first.

AlwaysWatching 27

I think maybe they meant OP would be kicking her boyfriend's butt.