Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, it's the day after my birthday. My boyfriend got me nothing. Nor did he do anything for me for Valentine's Day. Whereas I got him an $85 game for his birthday, planned a surprise visit to his family so he could see them and his pets, and spent all day Valentine's Day making the house spotless, as well as cakes. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend’s birthday is a month before mine. I'd spent my birthday savings on his, but he told me that we couldn’t do anything for mine because, “I didn’t plan or organize better.” FML
Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML
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Top comments
HeyMondayAddict 4
Maybe he just feels really good about getting you something.
UnikornG33K 12
Aw that sucks, but at least he got you something, right?
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Comments (175)
asspin16 1
Maybe he's really happy he actually did something right. Oooor he's gay.
Robertj1313 0
Hes gay
geod69 8
Sounds like its time to get a new boyfriend and keep this one as a shopping buddy
davek 36
I've got bad news for you... sounds like this one likes it up the Cadbury's alley.
nononsensechick 12
This is so backwards.....
meemee47 1
Happy birthday!!! It's mine too
KiddNYC1O 22
It's your birthday and I know you wan to ri-i-i-i-i-de.
PristinecrazyD 0
Hey its my birthday today to lets have birthday sex together
sonicgreg 12
Hey, it's my birthday too! We should totally do it.
cornielious 1
Sounds like someone needs to come of the closet.