zstarr
Rome, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ananimus
Peekskill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
dumblonde78
🌶️ Spicy
Whatever works
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Protip
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Nicole
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gift of the gab
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
SickofhisBs
🌶️ Spicy
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
a.baybay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
hannieannie
Oxford, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
xenutja
Amery, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hate sex
Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML
Top comments
ollie179 21
"And then Danielle actually had the cheek to call me a bitch in front of the whole salon whilst having my hair conditioned and..." That's nice, bend over baby.
bubba1177 1
Stop talking
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Comments (168)
surrounded_fml 6
Well either close your legs or close your mouth... The choice is yours
fbear10 5
That sucks ! Well, atleasst you both have something to be happy about!?!? Give him the silent treatment , see how he likes it when your quiet :)
drunkandfml 11
Suck it up and enjoy the sex
scottsteiner 1
if you're a hot chich i'd do you everytime i have a chance too:-P
KiddNYC1O 22
Is that why they call you Big Poppa Pump?
Enslaved 38
Mine tries to stop me from talking by shoving things in my mouth. Marshmallows!(:
mercsl65 7
if you like sexual intercourse I think you found the golden ticket
andiewithlove 21
*hums Willy Wonks tune*
fordneagles 34
Well if you don't want the sex, stop talking so much... Seems logical. Or you could dump him, but you're getting sex, that's more than a lot of other people in relationships are getting.
olpally 33
Is your boyfriend Quagmire? Lol.
Bumper15 2
Giggity.
hnz 13
At least you don't have your little brother wrestling on top of you guys
Hamo 5
I bet he loves the sound you make when you stop talking.