zstarr
Rome, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ananimus
Peekskill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
dumblonde78
🌶️ Spicy
Whatever works
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Protip
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Nicole
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gift of the gab
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
SickofhisBs
🌶️ Spicy
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
a.baybay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
hannieannie
Oxford, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
xenutja
Amery, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hate sex
Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML
Top comments
ollie179 21
"And then Danielle actually had the cheek to call me a bitch in front of the whole salon whilst having my hair conditioned and..." That's nice, bend over baby.
bubba1177 1
Stop talking
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Comments (168)
ManInTheMachine 20
Sounds like he was killing two birds with one 'stone'. What I'm curious about though, is how OP found out...hmm.... OP: Yes! Yes, righ-- BF: Shhh, it's okay babe, calm down. OP: But it feels so- BF: *Pulls out* Dammit, you always have something to say, don't you? **** this, I'm leaving. *walks out with pants around ankles*
jizzwold 21
You just break all the stereotypes huh noor?
ambowew 7
And to make matters worse, your little brother then came in to wrestle with the pair of you?
XxEP1CFAC3xX 4
You just got that from the fml below this one -.-
GothicAngel17 24
Well, at least you're gettin' some, right? Better than nothing ;)
LonelyLoser93 3
It definitely is better than nothing. :( I never get anything. Still maybe OP just wants communication in which case, like others have said, incorporate it into sex.
IdontWanna69 8
Sounds like a win-win to me.
WCARlover 35
Better than him using duct tape:)
SmittyJA24 26
I have the same problem (?) at home.... my wife will occasionally give me a BJ & talk even less!!
LonelyLoser93 3
You sir are a boss. And very lucky. My respect goes to you.
DarkCobalt55 6
Most relationships these days
misspulkadot24 17
That's a bit degrading...
VooDooCarrie91 19
You don't say??
pexy_fml 16
Its still an enjoyable way to silence someone
mrnuleef 7
Thats a nice discrete method. Better than stfu.