Whatever works

Protip

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

Effective

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

Sitcom moment

Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML

Good girl

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

Bored

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

Food fight

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML