zstarr
Rome, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ananimus
Peekskill, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
dumblonde78
🌶️ Spicy
Whatever works
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Protip
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Nicole
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gift of the gab
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
SickofhisBs
🌶️ Spicy
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
a.baybay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
hannieannie
Oxford, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
xenutja
Amery, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hate sex
Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML
Top comments
ollie179 21
"And then Danielle actually had the cheek to call me a bitch in front of the whole salon whilst having my hair conditioned and..." That's nice, bend over baby.
bubba1177 1
Stop talking
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Comments (168)
Needafarm 22
If that worked in my relationship i would talk all the time.
perdix 31
I've used kissing many times to get a girl to shut up. Sex usually doesn't prevent them from talking unless their mouth is full . . . or I stop watching sports on TV and pay attention to doing good work on them.
Trisha_aus 15
Why must you watch sports while you're doing it?
Slai_fml 3
Sports are good. And hell yes this works like a dream. Screaming doesn't count as talking ;) just gotta "do good work" to earn it!
perdix 31
#36, because girls won't let me watch C-SPAN during sex, that's why!
liquid_sasquatch 10
I can think of another way to fill the mouth =]
somewizdom 15
So he would rather you have a full mouth. Seems legit.
hateevryone 15
Don't give him the satisfaction.
Irishgypsy 2
It's a requirement for possession of a man card.
stealman 3
That's smart I used to do same thing
FranzFerdinand 18
Well, if you don't like it, you could try talking to him about i- wait… never mind.
ShadowedHuman 5
That's a good use for sex.
DocBastard 40
Boyfriend: Yeah, you like that? OP: Boyfriend: Yeah, feels good. OP: Boyfriend: Want to try something else? OP: If you don't talk during sex, you're doing something wrong.
toohottiedottie 2
Oh, please honey... They all do.