Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
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Top comments
hikurashi83 15
Am I the only one who noticed how well this was written?
Just_A_Tree 20
Use Cheerios for target practice?
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Comments (57)
llamadelray 4
What a lovely person to live with.
Witchylady 18
Your brother is disgusting
Sakuraashita 15
And then tell him one of his shirts was used for this purpose, but not which one...
skyeyez9 25
Why are most males so damn disgusting when it comes to using the bathroom? If you pee on the seat, wipe it off. And wipe your pubes off too. Dont leave them all over the seat. I hated having to share the bathroom with my brother. And the monster ***** he'd take in the morning. He would sit too far back on the toilet and the turd would always scrape against the toilet seat, leaving a clump there plus skid marks in the bowl. Parents need to teach their sons to clean up after themselves.
drc2010 13
next time put a bunch of plastic wrap on the entire toilet and let him piss all over himself then he will learn to pee correctly lol and man 16 and still doing it I'd tell his girlfriends if he ever has any lol
SirJKCaptain 12
"Spectacular aim on the toilet seat and the surrounding floors" Does he do a friggin tribal dance when he pees??
elyx_fml 16
If your the older brother kick his ass...if not, go to the gym, then kick his ass
DariaTrent 6
Get a lock for the bathroom , and don't let him enter anymore
FreeRunn3r 12
How did this meaningless complaining turn into an FML, cry me a river, tell him to clean up after himself or he'll have to piss outside.
blackcatgirlxxx 2
Pee on him.