Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML
Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML
Today, I found out my 10 year-old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including a £600 guitar. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Epsilonyx 15
I'd be pissed.
PaulB123 11
If he ever complains he's hot, pee on him. He'll get it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
omfg_creepers 8
What gave him that idea?
48Connor 10
Did it still cool it down?
CalCommando 6
Don't worry, it builds character.
attaboy368 20
seems a strange thing to come up with very weird
nahgemoohc 17
My god! How did he manage that?
Brool_Story_Co 17
39- By opening up the oven and pissing in it. It's not that hard.
cheefer 0
54, cool explanation bro.
1221jamw 11
59- Not only are those jokes as old and unfunny as the arrow to the knee jokes, but the slight alteration you added, made you sound like a total douche.
Zeppelin1969 5
Yeah the arrow to the knee thing is kinda getting old. Let's all leave that alone for a couple of days or a month or two and it'll be funny again when someone brings it back up.
1221jamw 11
And you expect the whole Internet to read that post? Fair enough.
enonymous 9
OP YDI for having a kid with R Kelly
Zeppelin1969 5
Ok so the world still favors that joke… ok, but I promise it will die out even if it takes the apocalypse to kill it.
docscientist 10
I thought arrow to the knee jokes died with the apocalypse, then I took an arrow in the knee.
ColdplaySucks 18
I wasn't the smartest 10 year old but peeing in an oven qualifies you as "Fucken Idiot."
SandraGee 7
#79 It was her brother not son. Read the FML again.
kyarush 10
Well did it work?
xoxokelsey11 5
What a nice armona to add to your house.
googlefrewdnoob 0
Don't you mean " what a nice ammonia" hey, hey?
1221jamw 11
Lol I've never seen aroma spent quite like that. Made me laugh to be honest. :)
AngrehPirate 0
Gee I've never seen spelt spelt like that. ;D
nahgemoohc 17
i guess OP's brother was pissed off and needed to cool down
Epsilonyx 15
I'd be pissed.
noshatsherlockk 15
I see what you did there.
desireev 18
So did everyone else on FML...
StoryOfTheYear 15
Help! It's the hyperbole police!
monkeysareyummy 0
noshatsherlockk? Who says shat?
1221jamw 11
Story, you might want to go back to fifth grade and relearn your vocab words. :)
docscientist 10
And 60 goes to jail for making a fraudulent emergency call.
StoryOfTheYear 15
75- Pretty sure 37 used a hyperbole.
docscientist 10
No, everyone on Fml has more than likely seen piss puns too many times to count.
googlefrewdnoob 0
You, obviously
Insomniasenemy 6
I giggled that was almost funny but not that funny (this is me being nice when it's line 1 AM)
PaulB123 11
If he ever complains he's hot, pee on him. He'll get it.
fo_86 0
Or if he's cold drop a load on him...too far?
chris19sn 4
Just a tad but we'll forgive you.
margie2194 12
Too far...
screamo_neve 12
No, we won't forgive you.
fo_86 0
Wow you people are very bitter. Just joking around. No more posts on here. INTERNET BULLIES be proud...
graham11 14
87- so long, pal! *round of applause as he exits the room*
isitinmybedroom 11
Problem?
hellokatie8 5
You mad bro?
lovelydarlings 6
Don't let your brother near ovens anymore...
DontModMeDammit 10
Why would you need to cool off the oven?
dixiefoxx 22
I'd kill him with the smell. I'd just do it, no questions how.
iDaniel525 8
How? *troll face*
trippythehippy 6
Yes. Do tell...
graham11 14
So. Much. Suspense.
scarface90 8
Good thing he didn't take a sh*t in the oven
thatgirlinoregon 21
Cooling it off with 98.6 degree urine? Your brother isn't the brightest, is he?
derpster 7
how would you know that statistic ma'am?
boydeee01 7
That's the average core temperature for humans.
StopDropNRoll 11
Well he is 10! ^^ And I'm pretty sure that ovens get way hotter ~350-450 so I mean if you think it about he didn't do so bad. And maybe he just really had to take a piss and used the hot oven as an excuse :D
graham11 14
61- who uses a hot oven as an excuse? I would much rather walk a few feet to the bathroom. Or if all else fails, use the sink or something.. But seriously..