Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I discovered that my dog knows how to lock doors. This wouldn't have been a problem if anyone in my house every carried a key. FML
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Top comments
TheCurvyGamer 17
What a crabby day. Sorry, shouldn't have made that pun. It's a little eggstreme.
FuKcMee 32
smart little prick
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Comments (52)
FuKcMee 32
smart little prick
h00tzForOsi 20
Shellfish little prick taking all the crab for himself.
patlopez719 9
Lol
FutureMartian 4
Smart doggo
krazy789 28
bad doggo
Karinrinkashi 9
what goes in must come out. Have some fabreeze at hand.
SOILEDIT 51
Unless the dog does his business outside.
bonermonkey 31
that isn't gonna help the dog farts tho
DomsterDC 16
Or the dog breath..
TheCurvyGamer 17
What a crabby day. Sorry, shouldn't have made that pun. It's a little eggstreme.
Redmond64 16
There are no bad puns
Steve97 32
That dog is one bad egg
MassiDelta 28
*makes cringy egg pun*
RememberSchlitz 9
Yolk's on you, OP, but though you'll have to step sideways around the pincher dog beclaws there's shell to pay now, it'll come out all eggwhite in the end.
micoofree 1
******* awesome
sparkledoge 29
Time to invest in a child safety lock for your fridge
JustSomeBroad 24
Exactly what I thought when I read "--again."
askullnamedbilly 33
Well I hope you didn't plan on having a good night's sleep tonight because you'll be up every two hours to let the whining bastard outside so he can have runny diarrhea all over your neighborhood. Any way you can lock up the kitchen while you're gone? If not, we have a motion sensor that flashes light and beeps in a really high pitch so our dog doesn't raid the cupboards in our cellar. I get a heart attack every time I go downstairs and forget about the thing, but I haven't had to clean out flour mixed with dog spit out of the carpet in a while, so I'd say it was a good investment.
Dawnoftime 12
"Are you feeling it now Mr.Crabs?", Doggo thought to himself
TabooSushi 24
Three words: Child safety lock. Get one. Get two, if you must. I got locks to put on my lower cabinets because my cats kept getting into them and shredding boxes of dry goods, and my life has been so damned peaceful ever since. You can usually find them in any infant/toddler section in a department store (Walmart, Target, etc), and even at hardware stores, and they're fairly inexpensive.
PuppiesKisses 19
I saw one family who had the same issue, they ended up chaining the fridge shut. Good luck OP.