Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
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Top comments
hikurashi83 15
Am I the only one who noticed how well this was written?
Just_A_Tree 20
Use Cheerios for target practice?
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Comments (57)
Smiley_70 22
Deep breath and refuse to clean up his mess. explain to your parents that he is being un-hygienic and until he stops you will use their bathroom
gatorclay97 28
Or use it as a weapon and threaten him.
thejimler 9
If you have to clean up his mess in order to do your own business, dump the pissy toilet paper in his bed.
clrichmond2009 24
Don't feel bad, OP. I've watched my 34 year old husband drop a deer at 300 yards and he STILL can't manage to hit the damn toilet.
laden_swallow09 35
If he can't pee straight like a man, he deserves nothing less than forced to sit until he can improve his aim. That's what hinged toilet seats were invented for. At least clean up your own messes, y'know? Damn.
clrichmond2009 24
Oh he cleans it up alright. He learned his lesson after I used one of his shirts to clean the mess.
Brandi_Faith 34
I personally respect men that pee sitting down. Saves everyone from the mess.
MeanBeagle 22
you're brother might have a ******. or just act like one.
MeanBeagle 22
don't cross the streams
mosquito19 14
clean it with his cloth.
Sathane 21
Make a loud compliment at his next tournament. "If only his aim was this good in the bathroom!"
aliciavanham 13
Then i would clean it with his clothes.
purplhaze88 20
Saran Wrap the bowl so it splashes back on him.